


It All Started In A Psych Ward

by orions_doubt



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dusttale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Horrortale (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Swapfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Genital mutalation, How Do I Tag, I'll add more as I go on, Mental Health Issues, Mentions of Eating Disorder, Reader Is Kind Of A Brat, Reader-Insert, Reverse Harem, Self-Harm, but honestly who's surprised, nonbinary reader, reader is also a bad-ass, reader is nonbinary but also has female parts, red and mutt are pervs, sans and stretch are assholes, slowish burn, trigger warning, whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:41:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26553022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orions_doubt/pseuds/orions_doubt
Summary: You never wanted this to happen. You just wanted a white-pickett-fence-type lifestyle with your boo.Now, you're in a mental hospital, with a two week deadline before you get sent to long-term.And you have a roommate that looks like he could kill you within 3 seconds.Lovely.
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Papyrus/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 184
Kudos: 370





	1. In Which, You Have A Mental Breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. Welcome to my first fan fiction. Ever. 
> 
> If you are sensitive to mental-health related stuff, or blood, or get triggered easily, then this story is not for you. Most stuff that will happen is important to the plot and can't really be skipped out on. I'm not the best at writing stuff like this, and the first chapter will def be a little shaky as I try to nail this character, but it will still be triggering none-the-less.
> 
> And with that, welcome to It All Started In A Psych Ward.

You seemed to have the worst luck possible. 

Your car broke down, you were in the way of a biciclist, someone spilled their coffee on you, you lost a twenty down a sewer grate, etc. 

Something always seemed to happen.

Yes, your luck sucked.

So imagine how lucky you were to meet your boyfriend. 

Yes, your boyfriend. 

The only person in the world who would ever love you. The only person who could live with your “craziness” as he put it. The only person who would help you correct your flaws.

And oh boy, did he correct you. 

It seemed that every little misstep did not go ~~unpunished~~ uncorrected. No, he would never punish you. He was too nice for that. He was helping you, not hurting you, right? 

Right.

When you laughed too hard, he would take the rubberband around your wrist, pull back and let it fly so it snapped you. 

When you ate too much, he would make you throw up. 

When you slept in, he would dump a bucket of ice water on your head. 

When you forgot to do something, he would smack you on the side of your head to “make you remember”. 

After about 3 months of dating, you were absolutely perfect for him. You had a few missteps here and there, and sometimes you would forget and revert back to your old ways. And sometimes he would lose his temper and lock you out of the apartment for a day.

But, you loved him, and he loved you. 

Right?

He loved you, right?

_He better fuckin’ love me._

Shh, calm thoughts, if you think like that, he may find out. 

You wouldn’t want that to happen. 

Still, even with your boyfriend, your luck was pretty bad. 

* * *

  
  


Today, actually, was one of those days where your luck sucked. 

To start off with, you got into an argument with him, the love of your life. 

It was a pretty nasty one too. 

  
  


Before you had started to date your boyfriend, you had an interesting style. You had short, dyed hair, wore crazy eyeliner, lots of chokers and rings, and almost always wore black. You listened to Mindless Self Indulgence on repeat, and constantly went to raves and protests. 

But, when you started dating, your boyfriend slowly tamed the alt-ness out of you. 

They do say opposites attract, while you were on one side of the spectrum, he was just the right flavor of vanilla you needed. 

Vanilla was good? Right? 

You prefered rocky-road, or even mint chip, but vanilla was good. Vanilla was your boyfriend's favorite, so it was yours too. 

Your boyfriend helped you discovered a lot of things about yourself, like the fact that you weren’t actually non-binary! You were just making it up for attention. 

In fact, he called a lot of things you used to do “attention- seeking”. 

He wasn’t wrong, before him, you were a selfish, crazy, brat. Someone who needed a big strong man like him to anchor them.

* * *

This morning, you were feeling nostalgic, instead of wearing all of the cute feminine clothes your boyfriend had so graciously gifted to you, you opted to wear a pair of ripped jeans, an oversized band t-shirt, your binder, and platform boots. You made double wings under and over your eyes, and threw your now shoulder length hair up into a small messy bun. 

You thought you looked cute, but your boyfriend would beg to differ. 

You both had never gotten into an argument before. Truth be told, you were too scared of being ~~punished~~ corrected, but something sparked in you that morning. 

You didn’t want to be tamed. 

If the neighbors never made any noise complaints about the two of you, they sure as hell would now. 

He called you many things that morning. 

“Whore!”

“Stupid slut!”

“Faggot!”

He even went as far as to try to hit you. 

You, with that spark of something new inside your chest, smartly ducked out of the way. 

You ended up fleeing the house with your look still intact, and you ended up driving to the mall to stock up on items of clothing that would piss off your boyfriend. 

Hell, you were your own woman! No, you weren’t a woman, you were never a woman. He could pretend all he wanted to, but you were never gonna wear another push-up bra for as long as you lived. 

You were pissed, and in the past, when you got pissed, there was hell to pay. You hadn’t felt this way in such a long time, it was exhilarating. He never allowed you to feel any other way besides happy. 

Well, you did feel sad sometimes (all the time), but you would never say that to him. 

To feel anger though, that was a treat. It felt like you were on fire, you felt unstoppable. Nothing could stop you, not even him. 

You were just pushing open the doors to the mall, when you stopped. 

He was going to be pissed. 

You knew that nothing was going to come out of this. Best case scenario, if this kept up, he would break up with you, and he was your only family left. He was the only one who would ever love you. 

_No one will ever love me. No one will ever love me. Noonewilleverloveme. No OnE wILl EvEr LoVE Me._

You spent the rest of the day thinking along the lines of that. You were so sorry. You regretted everything. 

Nothing was worth him breaking up with you. Nothing was worth a pain like that. 

To be quite honest, you would do anything for him gladly. 

So why didn’t you take off your makeup?

You stupid bitch. 

Might as well kill yourself while you're at it. 

No, don’t think like that, he still loves you. He would never leave you. 

Right?

* * *

  
  


You were lost in your thoughts, staring out of the window of the taxi that you were in. You decided to leave the car at home for your hubby in case he needed to go somewhere. At least you did that much right. You were over your little rebellious streak. You just wanted to go home and cuddle with him. You wanted him to hold you close, petting your hair and telling you how good you were doing lately. 

But after what happened this morning, he would probably have a ~~punishment~~ correction planned out. 

Maybe he would be patient. He was patient in the past. He even let you keep your virginity! 

He would be merciful. 

The world in the city outside kept stopping and starting as the car slowly moved through traffic. 

* * *

  
  


You wanted to get out of the city, the stacked dingy buildings and the smell of second-hand smoke did not appeal to you. Yet, to get out of the city was a lot of money, and that was money you didn’t have, all of it being used up on rent. The city you lived in was extremely expensive. 

After monsters broke out of the mountain 5 years ago, the prices of apartments skyrocketed because biggotted humans didn’t want monsters in their cities. Stupid humans. Honestly, they deserved to be eaten, or something like that.

Because not many monsters could afford it in the city, you hadn’t met any. You doubted your boyfriend would even let you near one, due to his non-progressive nature ~~_why would you say that about him_ ~~. Once during the beginning of your relationship, you commented on adorable lesbian couple, but judging by his reaction, he was disgusted. 

You never told him that you were pan. 

* * *

  
  


You jolt out of your thoughts when the driver turns around, “Here you are miss, 101 Evergreen drive, apartment building C.”

You smile sweetly, but inwardly cringe at the title.

_No, shut up, we are a miss. We are a girl! There is no such gender as non-binary._

“Miss?”

You didn’t realize that you were still in the car. 

_Shit! He’s gonna think I’m weird! Is he gonna tell him about this? Please don’t tell him!_

“Yo!”

“Right! Sorry! I’ll be out of your hair!”

You quickly pay the driver and exit the bright yellow cab. 

You walk past the head counter and opt for taking the stairs, you hadn’t worked out today, that was another thing your boyfriend would probably ~~punish~~ correct you for. 

_Shit._

When you walk up to the peeling door of your apartment, you hear something. 

_No, no, that’s not coming from our apartment, it’s just the neighbors going at it again._

You’re being dramatic again. He told you you could take your time. He told you that it didn’t matter to him. 

Then what was the coming from? 

You walk into the cramped apartment and gently set your backpack against the peeling wallpaper. 

“Babe?”

You hear a moan. 

You instantly tense up.

_Is he in trouble? Did someone break it? That must be the noise right?_

You quietly walk into the kitchen and grab the biggest knife you could find in order to protect yourself. But more importantly, protect your boyfriend. 

“I’m coming in!”

You hear a quiet _“shit”._

Your eyes narrow. 

You walk into the bedroom. 

There are two obvious lumps under the bed covers. 

Your blood runs cold when you hear a giggle. 

“ _Shhh, don’t say anything._ ”

“ _You think she’s gone yet?_ ”

The second voice sounds high pitched, very feminine. The accent is Californian, like your’s, but it sounds more like a poor imitation of what a valley girl is supposed to sound like. 

For the second time today, you get pissed.

_He promised…_

You walk silently over to the side of the bed and lift the wrinkled sheets off the two lumps. 

You suck in a breath. 

Your boyfriend is currently in a very compromising position with some blonde chick you have never seen before. They clearly were in the middle of _something_ when you walked considering his, appendage, is still lodged inside of the blonde. 

You hate it, you hate looking at it, you are disgusted. 

_He promised…_

All you can see is red. 

“Babe…”

“Wanna join?”

You stop shaking, when had you started shaking?

“Excuse me?”

“Join, or get out!” He looks mad. 

_Why the hell should he be mad! I didn’t cheat on him!_

Instantly, a plan formates in your head. A nasty plan, but the urge is too strong. You want to get back at him. You want to make sure he never is able to do anything like this again. Your old, dark past bubbles up in your mind. 

You smirk, trying to make it look sexy, in order for your plan to work. It borderlines on manic, but it still works. 

“ _Anything for you, Babe_.”

You climb into bed on top of both of them. Knife behind your back. 

“Babe, tell me, did you want to hurt me?”

“Shhh, you’re running the mood.”

“I need to know, please?” You flutter your long eyelashes. 

He rolls his eyes. “This is your punishment, it’s meant to hurt.”

That hurt. He’s never referred to it as a punishment before, always corrections. Always, always corrections. What you were about to do, just felt 10 times more justifiable in your eyes. 

“Good! Then I won’t feel guilty at all!” The smirk that was plastered across your face grows into the smile of a mad-man. You take the knife out from behind your back. 

“Wha-”

You arc the knife down and slice his dick off. 

The blonde whore and your boyfriend are now disconnected. 

Blood is gushing everywhere. 

You start giggling. 

You hear the nameless girl start screaming to “get it out”. 

You hear your boyfriend blubbering like a child. 

Right now, you are rolling on the ground, laughing your head off. When did you get off the bed? 

The bedroom door slams shut. When did they leave? 

You hear the sound of a phone being dialed and then, “ _911, what’s your emergency?_ ”

You try to open the door. It’s locked. But it locks from the inside, how?

They must have blocked it from the outside. 

You want out. 

You stab the door in frustration and scream. 

You want to do so much more. The girl knew that she was helping him cheat, didn’t she. You wanted to cut her up badly too. Maybe stick the blade up her hoo-ha. They would be good revenge. They would be perfect for each other after that. Two people who would never be able to feel pleasure again. Good, maybe their horny asses could stop being horny for one god-damn minute. 

What can we do to pass the time? 

_We?_

Well, we’ve got a knife don’t we? 

Let’s make more of those pretty scars on our arms. 

The blood looked so pretty against the white bedsheets. 

_Wait, no, why am I thinking this._

_Get out of my head._

_Whose in my head? What’s going on?_

_Get out. Get-out. Getout. Getoutgetoutgetout._

You start banging the heel of your hand against your head. The dull knocking sound echoes throughout the room.

It’s not enough. 

You start banging your head against the wall, and that incites a scream from the other room. 

_Heh, it must be the blonde chick._

You end up blacking out. 

You don’t remember much while you were out, save the couple times you were shifting in and out of sleep. A pair of blue, scaly arms lifting you, a car with flashing lights on it, the interior of an ambulance. 

You finally come to, in a mental hospital. 


	2. In Which, You Arrive At A Hell Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up from your little mental breakdown in a hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, second posting in two days. I really like this story and I have been fawning over the idea of a mentally disturbed reader for a long time since I haven't really seen a lot of stories that do that kind of thing. However, if you have one in mind, please tell me! I would love to read it!
> 
> This chapter is a bit long, but I really wanted to introduce our first skele.

You wake up in a mental hospital. 

You are being wheeled down sterile, yet dirty, hallways on a stretcher. Your arms are velcroed down. They don’t want you to escape. 

You observe the hallway that you are currently going down. The walls have been painted white, although not recently due to the fact that they are starting to yellow, and the paint seems to be peeling in the corners. The walls are also decorated with pictures of jellyfish. How is that supposed to be calming? Jellyfish are the bane of the ocean. Like, why on earth would a cure for a poison to be to pee on it? The pictures are most likely plastic, considering you are in a mental hospital. They wouldn’t want to give patients anything more to harm themselves with. 

You look up at the ceiling. The popcorn effect has started to crumble, and there are a lot of cracks spider webbing across. There also seems to be damp spots with potential leaks. 

You want to look at the floor, but as you get up to do so, one of the EMTs next to you, gently pushes you down. 

Why are you here again? Why aren’t you freaking out?

_ Where is he? _

Your EMTs turn a corner, and the stretcher you are on, turns with them. 

This hallway is the same as the last one, but at the end, there is an elevator. 

You take time to study the EMTs. 

You can’t see the one behind you, due to the fact that your hands are tied down and you can’t turn around. The one on your right is a ginger, with a nice galaxy of freckles across his nose. He’s a bit stocky, probably only an inch over your 5’5” height. The one on your left has black hair, clearly dyed, the roots of his hair are blonde, he’s about 5’11” if you had to guess. 

They all step into the elevator, taking you along with it. 

The ginger EMT presses the button, and the door slides closed with a  _ ding _ . In the interior of the elevator is polished silver, you can see your reflection, it’s a bit disoriented, but you can still see how awful you look currently. 

Your shoulder length hair is all messed up and teased up into a rat’s nest. You can’t reach up and touch it, but you would guess that it would be dry and crunchy due to the dried blood on your forehead. That was most likely from banging your head against a wall. Fun.

You were still wearing your ripped jeans, binder, and band t-shirt. Your heavy platform boots however, have been taken off. They would have probably been seen as a potential weapon anyway. 

Your arms are covered in cuts and blood. Oops. 

You struggled to remember what happened. You remember rage. You remember blood. What else happened?

As you were searching your thoughts, the elevator dinged open and you were rolled out. You made a few more turns around the hospital with the three EMTs pushing you and your stretcher. You were still trying to find out what on earth happened to you in order for you to end up here. 

You remember coming home, you remember hearing a sound, you remember a knife…

“Hello Miss.”

You look up, startled out of your thoughts. 

A hand is in front of your face, you think you're supposed to shake it. 

You try to, but then realize that your hands are still velcroed down. 

“Sorry, little tied up at the moment, think you can give me a hand?”

You immediately stop, your hand tries to fly up to your mouth. But alas, it was still down for the count. 

Your boyfriend hated jokes. He would never let you make then, and here you were! Being an ungrateful brat! What would he think?

On that thought, where was your boyfriend?

The EMT’s released your hands. 

Then you remembered. 

You cut your boyfriend's dick off. 

You. 

Cut.

Your.

Boyfriends.

Dick.

Off. 

You start laughing, which in turn, immediately made the nurse and the EMTs look at you.

If you weren’t on a stretcher, you would have been rolling on the ground. 

After a couple of minutes, you compose yourself. 

_ Shit, they're gonna think I’m crazy. Honestly though, who wouldn’t. _

“Ehehe,” you awkwardly laugh, “Sorry about that, um, I just thought of something funny.”

You realize that the nurses hand was still outstretched. You take it in your own and shake. 

“Right, well, (Y/N) (L/N)? I’m Rachel, I’ll be help-”

“Actually, it’s Pyxis.”

“What?”

“You know, like the constellation? The compass on the Argonauts’ ship?”

“No I don't. Is that what you want us to call you?” 

You shrug, “I don’t need my old name anymore.”

Truth be told, Pyxis is what you used to go by before your boyfriend. You have no idea why you suddenly decided to revert back to it, but it just felt right. 

You hated your old name anyway, it didn’t fit you. 

The nurse and the EMTs allow you to get up from the stretcher. As soon as you stand, you promptly fall, and have to be caught by the ginger on your right. 

“Sorry, dude.”

He just looks at you and winks. 

_ Ewwww. _

You shiver. The nurse seems to notice your discomfort and leads you away to stand at the front desk where there were other nurses on staff. 

The front desk is long, and there are about 5 nurses all bustling behind it. Across from the desk are some windows looking into a room and a door. Currently, there seems to be a group going on in the room. From what you can see, people from the ages 18-40 are sitting in plastic seats staring at a woman holding up some sort of paper. They are all writing with markers. 

Great, it’s one of those hospitals. Writing with only markers sucks. 

“(Y/-”

“It’s Pyxis.”

The new nurse that speaks to you looks confused, then she shakes her head.

“Whatever, just follow me for your intake.”

You follow the nurse, she is wearing pink scrubs with little purple hearts. 

It’s nowhere near valentines day. 

She takes you into a very sterile smelling room. It’s painted a nice baby blue. In one corner there is a pulse meter stand thingy, and a scale. There are a couple of counters. The first has a sink installed and next to the sink there are jars of cotton bars and popsicle sticks. The second counter has a cushion on it, clearly meant for a patient to lie down. 

The nurse attempts to make small talk with you, but you're really not up to it. You don’t know what time it is, but oh boy are you tired. 

It’s probably from all of the dick slicing you did today. 

You allow the nurse in the pink scrubs to take your height and pulse. When she gets to your weight, you start to hesitate. 

You know you are by no means skinny. Your boyfriend loved to tell you that. In internet terms, you would be considered thicc. 

You know, like big thighs and calves, small little pouch of a belly, round face. You hated them, but you also had a nice set of tits. 

You really did not like your body. 

You didn’t like your weight either. 

So when nurse pink-scrubs tried to press it, you just glared at her. 

“I’m gonna need to take your weight, hun.”

You tensed up at the pet name. It sounded extremely condescending. 

“Come on, I won’t judge, you have nothing to worry about,” she tried coaxing you.

_ Yea right, she won’t judge, at least she weighs below 140 pounds, motherfucker.  _

She looks like she’s about to flip her lid. You would feel sorry for her, considering that she’s probably had to deal with people like you all day. But, you feel too snarky to care. 

At the same time, you don’t want to get booty juiced. 

You step onto the scale and look at the nurse. You cock an eyebrow as if to say, “ya happy yet?”

You just want to get this over with. It’s late, you want to take a shower and get to bed. Even if it’s an air mattress in a hospital. 

You’re getting kind of sick of the caked blood on your arms and hands. Honestly, at this point, if they don’t give you a sink to wash off in, you’re seriously considering licking it off. You’ve done weirder things. 

Finally, the nurse is done doing whatever she’s been doing, and leads you out of the check-up room, down the hallway, and into an empty room with two twin beds and a bathroom attachment. 

The nurse guides you into the bathroom and hands you a pair of baby blue paper scrubs, a cobalt blue shirt, a cotton bra, and some cotton granny panties. Flattering.

When you step out of the bathroom attachment, you see that the nurse is gone and the light is off. You take that as a sign to go to bed. 

You walk over to the small bed on the right side of the room, pull back the thin covers, and slowly lower yourself down. You try to get as comfortable as you can, but it’s kind of hard to do on a who-knows-how old air mattress and two thread-bare sheets. 

You think back to the events of the day before you drift off to sleep. For some reason, you don’t feel guilty. You feel empowered.

Well, empowered as you can be when you’re this tired.

You fall asleep. 

* * *

You wake up, only to be immediately blind by the sun blaring into your eyes. 

You groan and turn over. 

The bed that was unoccupied last night is still unoccupied. That’s good, you don’t want a roommate. 

Your back hurts. You don’t want to get up. But, you smell breakfast. 

_ Mmm, sausage. _

You hear footsteps coming down the hall, and you quickly turn to the window and close your eyes to pretend sleep. 

“Pyxis? You need to wake up, it’s time for vitals, you also need to get bloodwork down and fill out your paperwork. It’s a busy day for you, so chop chop!”

This lady seems to be way too peppy for a mental hospital. 

You stand up and let the covers fall to the side. The nurse smiles at you gently, and leads you out of the room and into the room that you saw across from the front desk. 

You enter, the nurse sits you down on a chair and begins to take your vitals. All of the other people in the room seem to be watching  _ The Office _ on the TV. No one seems to notice you except for a girl with long purple hair tied up into space buns. She’s made her baggy shirt into a crop top by tying it up, and her paper scrubs have been cuffed at the bottom. 

_ Fuck that’s adorable.  _

For some reason, it seems that the longer you have spent away from your boyfriend, the more that you can’t bring yourself to care about his rules anymore. 

The space-bun girl sees you staring at her, and waves. 

You instantly blush. 

_ Why the fuck is she so GOD DAMN CUTE! _

“Jeez, your heart rate is elevated.”

You look up at the nurse standing above you, the one that was taking your vitals. You look at the screen, your pulse is 110. You blush even harder. 

“Uh, yea, um, I’ve got a lot of anxiety?”

You hope that is a sufficient answer. 

It appears to be, the nurse walks away. 

Space-bun girl gets up from the other side of the table and sits in the seat next to you.

“Hey.”

“Hi!”

_ FUCK.  _

“I’m Kimi! Welcome to Hell newbie! Population: 9.”

You look around, including you, it does seem that there are only nine people here. Usually it’s bigger. 

“And you are…?”

You startle, you forgot she was here, oops.

“Right! Uh, Pyxis.”

She smiles. 

“Got any pronouns that I should be aware of?”

_ Good lord she’s perfect. Please don’t tell me she’s straight. _

Wait, she’s in a mental hospital, no straight women ever go to mental hospitals. 

“Them/they.”

“Cool.”

You both sit in silence. You haven’t watched  _ The Office _ in forever. It seems your favorite episode is on though, “Stress Relief Pt.1”. Currently, Andy (one of the worst characters in your opinion) is singing “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees.

Soon, the nurses lead you down to the cafeteria for breakfast. You laugh when the nurses attempt to keep nine mentally unstable adults in a single file line. 

You sit with Kimi and wait for the nurses to call you up. You immediately take note of the vending machines in the corner. 

“Soooo… how old are you?”

You look at Kimi and smirk. 

“Why? You interested?”

Both of you look at each other for a minute, and break out laughing.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it. I’m twenty-one. You?”

“19!”

Oh good lord, this girl was barely consenting age. Then again, so were you. 

The nurses calls you up from breakfast. You end up getting a shit ton of sausage, and Kimi ends up teasing you for being a carnivore. You then proceeded to go into a discussion about what the most exotic meat the two of you have ever tasted.

Your’s was an alligator, her’s was a bison. You then teased her for being vanilla with her meat choices.

* * *

The nurses make you go back up to the hospital ward after breakfast. They force you to do blood work. 

It’s not that you don’t like blood. You don’t mind blood. You just don’t like the fact that someone else can just suck you dry through a tube. 

A doctor has to come in to do your blood work. He introduces himself, but you are pretty much zoned out when you look at the number of vivals they’re making you fill.

He sits you down in a chair and ties one of those elastic bands around your arm so the veins pop up. Jokes on him, you’ve got deep veins that are almost impossible to see. 

He says more stuff, you still are zoned out.

He pokes and prods around the veins in the crook of your arm. 

He finally finds what he’s looking for and stabs the needle into your arm. You wince. 

You have to look away, otherwise you’re gonna get queasy. 

* * *

After what seems like forever, you leave the terrible blood drawing room and end up back in the common room. 

The day passes by in a slow blur. Somehow.

Paperwork, phone time (you don’t have anyone to call), more paperwork, group, room time, group, visiting hours (you don’t get any visitors). 

When dinner rolls around, you are ready to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. Last time you were in a place like this, you were there for about a month, you don’t want a repeat of that. 

When the nurse talked to you about your situation, she was rather sympathetic. See, your boyfriend had wanted to put you in jail for cutting off his you-know-what, but, since you were found cutting yourself and banging your head against a wall, they deemed you a mental case and instead decided to put you in a psych ward. It turns out, basically anyone who is willing to take care of you can take you out of the hospital. Unfortunately for you, you lost contact with your family 5 years ago, you don’t have any friends, and you cut your boyfriend's dick off. 

You were going to be in here forever. 

The worst part about it was, if you didn’t find someone to take you in within two weeks, they were going to send you to a long term residence. 

The nurse rounding everyone up for dinner snaps you out of your thoughts. 

It’s a no touch facility, but while the nurses aren’t looking, Kimi has taken to slipping her hand into yours. This always causes you to blush. 

You’re good at reading people, but you really don’t know if this gesture is meant to be platonic or not. You really hope it’s not. 

_ Wait, what about- _

_ Screw him, he cheated on us! _

_ Yes, but he might still love us, right? _

_ Shoulda thought about that before you went cutting his dick off.  _

You shrug off the warring voices and smile down at Kimi (she’s a solid 5 inches shorter than you). 

“You good?”

“Yea, let’s go before the nurses booty juices us.”

That earns a giggle from her. 

Dinner was pasta, as usual, considering that pasta was pretty cheap. Pasta was good and all, but man, you could really go for a In-In-Out right now. Or a drink. You haven’t drinken in so long. Your “boyfriend” didn’t think it was very lady-like. 

Screw him for making you be a girl. Sure you may have the right, ahem,  _ ass _ -ets (heh), but you weren’t no girl. 

You just wanted to be out of this stupid hospital. 

Before going up for the night, you manage to snag some skittles and cheetos from the vending machine. 

The nurses take everyone to their rooms for hygiene and you end up taking a 20 minute shower. 

You want to somehow wash away all remains of your boyfriend. 

Thirty minutes later, the nurses allow all of you out of your rooms and the eight other tenants and you end up commandeering the TV for the night. 

* * *

You all settle for watching the Twilight movie that’s on cable. You're not entirely sure which one it is, all you know is that it’s the one where Edward is being a douche bag and ends up leaving Bella because he can’t handle himself, or something like that. 

You break out the cheetos and skittles you got from the vending machine and share with Kimi. 

Soon enough, it’s around 9:30, and the nurses are passing out meds in little paper cups. You’ve been on meds before, but your boyfriend made you stop taking them because he was “the only source of happiness your life needed”. Lots of red flags came up in your mind when you think about that. 

At around 10:30, the nurses heard everyone back into their rooms. No new people came today, so you still don’t have a roommate. 

And now that you’ve told the nurses that you’re non-binary, the means you can also get paired up with a guy. Ew. 

You don’t really wanna share a room with a guy. What if he tries to take advantage of you? Most people you’ve met here are pretty nice, but you’ve also met some crazy people in the past. 

You slip in between the thin sheets. You have a habit of imagining pleasant scenarios before you go to bed. Tonight, you were imagining you getting out and Kimi becoming your girlfriend. You two would live happily in a cottage in Ebott forest near the mountain. No one would bother you. You would go on nature hikes everyday, and forge off of the land. 

Or, Kimi and you could move back to the city, go clubbing every night. You could show her all your favorite bars that you used to go to. She would slowly start converting to an alternate lifestyle with you. You could finally have a big-titty goth girlfriend! 

You slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

You wake up in the middle of the night, or what felt like the middle of the night, to shouting and banging going on in the front of the hospital wing. 

You exit your room and look down the hall to where the front desk is to see a horde of EMTs all crowding around, something. 

You see that other tenants in the wing have been woken up as well, as they are poking their heads out of their rooms to see what’s going on. 

You make your way over to Kimi’s and her roommate's door. 

“Any idea what’s happening?”

Kimi turned and looked at you with wide eyes. 

“It’s a monster.”

“Sick. They, uh, don’t seem very happy to be here.”

Kimi shook her head, the space buns that she had throughout the day were gone, so her long purple hair swished around her shoulders.

“I have no idea, I was walking out to check the time at the front desk, then the EMTs walked in with them on a stretcher and they were thrashing about. I was pushed back into my room by the nurses.”

You hear a yelp and a growl.

“Holy shit, you don’t have a roommate, do you?”

You pailed. 

“You don’t think…”

“...”

“I’m not going to be sleeping very well tonight.”

The monster must have been booty juiced, the snarls were quieted down, the EMTs stopped crowding it. 

Holy shit was he big. 

You think they were a he anyways. 

He was a skeleton. A literal skeleton. You would have started laughing if it wasn’t for how fuckin’ terrifying he looked. 

About seven feet tall, thiccc (with three c’s), round face, large (demented) smile, fused jawbone, really sharp and crooked teeth. He had one red eye in his right socket (your right) and the other socket was empty. Perhaps one of the scariest things about him was the giant hole in the top right side of his head. 

_ Did he do that to himself? _

Before you could see anything more, one of the nurses stepped in front of you and scolded you for staring. 

You allow yourself to be led back to your room. Just before entering, you look back to see  _ him  _ staring at you, watching you go. You fight off a shiver.

The nurse stays with you to make sure you go back to bed. You once again slip under the covers and turn away from the door. 

* * *

You don't really remember the next hour or two before you fell asleep. 

You hear someone walking in your room, a nurse talking, some grunts here and there, the sound of a shower turning on and off. 

You hear heavy footsteps stomp from the bathroom to the other bed nearest to the door. You snuggle even further into your sheets. 

You hear the rustling of more sheets and a deep sigh. 

Then you drift off to sleep while a strange red glow casts across the room. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing, Horrortale Sans!
> 
> We gonna get a lot of him next chapter. 
> 
> Honestly, he's one of my favorites, along with Swapfell Papyrus and Nightmare. 
> 
> I'm guessing maybe 5 more chapters will just be us in the hospital before we start diving into the "reverse harem" of this story. 
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome!


	3. In Which, You Get Unsolicited Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get cuddly with a skeleton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. I just wanna say I'm really happy with the support I've gotten so far. I really hope to continue writing this story and y'all give me the motivation to do it! 
> 
> This will be an interesting chapter since it also has one of our skele-bois POV in it. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

You don’t sleep very well that night. You keep getting woken up by grunts and growls from your neighbor. At one point in the night, you think he’s having a nightmare, due to the amount of thrashing that you hear coming from the otherside of the room. 

Just great, you got stuck with the one actually dangerous being in this god-damn hospital.

The nurses came in every 15 minutes to check and make sure that everyone was still alive. Hopefully the dude next to you wouldn’t be able to do much harm to you in 15 minutes. 

Oh who were you kidding, from how big he looked, he could probably snap your neck in 3 seconds. 

Lovely. 

* * *

You wake up in the morning only to be once again blinding by the sun shining through the window. 

You don’t feel like moving, but then again, you are pretty hungry. Since the short amount of time that you have been away from your boyfriend, you have actually been able to eat, and you found yourself enjoying the new privilege by going up for seconds and sometimes thirds. 

He would be pissed if he found out how much you were eating. 

Whatever, he couldn’t hurt you while you were in here. The most he could do is send you off to a long-term program, and that wouldn’t be a big deal for you considering you’ve done this song and dance many times before. 

That, and you were good at entertaining yourself. It was hard for you to get bored. 

You sit up and swing your legs to the side of the bed. You stretch your arms up, and yawn. Next, you interlock your fingers behind your back and push upwards in order to get the satisfying sound of your back and shoulders popping. 

You start to work on your knuckles. Cracking the first digit by pressing down on your fist, then cracking the second digits by pressing down on them. 

Once satisfied with this, you stand up and pad out of your hospital room. Not without looking at your roommate. You should have chosen the bed closest to the door. If you ever tried to run from him, chances are he would block your path. 

You weren’t scared of him because he was a monster, no, you were just terrified of the look that he gave you last night. He looked like he wanted to rip your throat out. And you kinda valued your throat. 

In all honesty, he could have been a perfect sweetheart, and you would never know. 

Looking at him now, he kinda looked cute?

His face was mushed into the thin pillow and his long legs were tangled up in the sheets. His eye lids(?) were closed and his mouth was slightly open, revealing a faint glow behind his teeth. 

_ What the fuck? _

_ Oh, right, monsters have magic.  _

_ Idiot. _

You walk out of the room and down the hallway to the common room. Kimi is already up, and is currently hooked up to the blood pressure machine. 

You sit next to her, and she immediately takes your hand and smiles at you. Even though it's early morning and nobody has eaten, she looks like she could go on a 3 mile run and not get tired. 

The nurse taking Kimi’s vitals looks at your joined hands, looks at you, but opts not to say anything. 

You survey the room. Only 6 other people are up, including Kimi. Two of them are currently arguing about watching either  _ Tom and Jerry _ or  _ Descendants 3  _ for morning time before breakfast. Another is shuffling cards. And the last two talk about who has the more fucked up life. 

“So, how was your roommate?” 

You look at Kimi and take note of the slight bitterness of her tone. You decide to poke fun. 

“Awww, is somewun a wittle jelly?” 

You say this in a sickeningly cute voice.

She huffs and looks away from you. 

“I just don’t want you getting hurt, that dude was looking pretty dangerous when he came in here.”

“Aww, that’s sweet, I can handle myself, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

She wrinkles her nose. 

“Pretty little head, huh?”

“Yup!”

You ruffle her lilac hair. 

“Pyxis?” you look up to the nurse that called you, “Can you do me a favor and wake your roommate, I need to take his vitals.”

Kimi looks confused. 

“How’re you gonna manage that? Does he have blood?”

The nurse shrugged. 

“I guess we’ll find out.”

You sighed. 

“I don wanna get uuppp.”

Kimi patted your hand sympathetically. 

You got out of your plastic seat with a groan. 

“If he kills me, make sure to have me cremated, I don’t wanna be rotting in a box for all of eternity.”

Kimi covered her mouth and giggled. The nurse just looked at you and rolled her eyes. 

You walk towards the door, and right before the exit, you turn around and dramatically sweep your arm. 

“Well friends, it was nice knowing you! See you in Hell, fellow ferals.”

You give the people in the room a mock salute and turn on your heel. 

You feel satisfaction when you hear the snickers behind you.

* * *

  
  


You head over to your room and take a peek inside, the window is letting the sun stream in, but the dude still isn’t awake. 

You flick the light on and off a couple times. 

“Hey sleeping beauty! Time to start the day! We’ve got shitty breakfast to eat, and hot girls to meet!”

He doesn’t say anything. This is going to be harder than you expected. 

You walk up to the side of the bed with his face, and crouch down so you are eye to eye (socket?) level. 

“YO!”

Nothing. 

You sigh, you don’t want to resort to water, that might make him actually kill you, so you decide to see if poking him works. 

You go to poke him. 

Mistake.

When your hand is nearing his face, a skeletal hand lashes out from under the covers and grabs your wrist. 

You just barely muffle a scream. 

_ You’re ok, he’s awake right? It’s just reflexes.  _

You look down, his eyes are still closed. He’s still asleep. 

_ Shit. _

You try to pry open his hand with your free hand. Nope, that just causes the dude to squeeze even harder. 

You try to poke him with your free hand. Nope, now both of your wrists are being held by massive skeletal hands. 

You’re screwed. 

You try struggling. 

That gets him to grunt. 

_ Progress! _

You struggle more. 

You get abruptly pulled into bed. 

_ Well, shit. _

You are now currently snuggled up to a massive skeleton with both of your hands captured. His skull is currently snuggled into the crook of your neck. From the sounds of it, he's deeply inhaling. 

_ What the fuck! Is he smelling me?! _

Apparently, you smelled good, due to the purr that was being emitted by him. 

You are severely disturbed. One, not only are you being given affection, which you have never really gotten used to (once again, your boyfriend’s fault), and two, you are being given affection by a dude who had to get booty juiced last night!

This ain’t good. 

You start to struggle. Nope, that’s bad, he just tightens his hold. 

You struggle more. He lets go of your hands. 

Success!

You make a move to get up. Nope, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to the point where you can feel his ribs through the cotton hospital shirt.

You look down on his head that is nuzzling dangerously close to your boob. 

His head moves down. 

_ OK NOPE! _

You do the only thing you can think of at the moment. 

You lick the top of his head. 

He tastes salty, and coppery. 

From the corner of your eye, you see his eyes snap open. The one red eye swivels around in the socket like it’s trying to figure out where it is. 

After a couple seconds of looking around, you decide to break the silence, because he obviously doesn’t look like he is capable of doing anything at the moment. 

“Do you mind?”

You try to struggle to prove your point. 

“... not at all.”

You freeze. Holy crap his voice is deep. And, what did he just say?

He nuzzles deeper into your chest and purrs even louder. 

You’ve had enough.

“Get off you overgrown barnacle!” 

You shove him off. Lucky for you, it catches him off guard and he is sent tumbling over the side of the bed and onto the floor.

You peek over the side of the bed where he tumbled and observe him sprawled out on the floor. You get angry. 

“DUDE! What the heck! This is a no-touch facility, first of all, and second! What do you mean not at all?!”

He just looks up at you with that one hazy eyelight. 

“You know what, forget it, you’re needed for your vitals, so I’m guessing you have about 5 minutes to get yourself around and out into the common room before you get the holy nurse brigade on your ass.”

He still says nothing. 

You scowl at him and crawl off his bed. 

You start to walk past him and out the door when you stop. 

You make the mistake of looking at him. 

He’s still looking up at you. He’s giving you the puppy eyes.

_ How can someone with a hole in their head be this cute?! _

You sigh through your nose and run your hand through your shoulder-length hair. 

“Don’t make me regret this.”

You hold your hand out, as a gesture to help him get up. 

He looks at your hand, then looks back up into your eyes, then looks at your hand again. He takes it and you pull him up. For a skeleton, he’s pretty heavy. You were expecting much lighter considering he’s all bone. Maybe the muscle is on the inside? 

You notice he is still holding your hand. You give it a shake.

“Pyxis.”

You look at him and wait for an answer. 

“... axe.”

Is he non-binary too? You better ask for their pronouns instead of just assuming they’re a he. You’ve heard stranger names. At one time, you’ve come across a person on the internet who named themselves “Knife” so Axe isn’t that big of a deal. 

After all, you can’t talk, you named yourself after a compass. 

“Pronouns?”

They(he?) look amused at this. 

“... he/him.”

_ Thank god you got it right.  _

… He was still holding your hand. This was getting awkward. You tried moving your hand away, only to find it getting squeezed by the monster in front of you. 

_ Great, he’s clingy. _

You give him what you hope looks like a gentle smile. 

“Alright then, let us go and conquer the day!”

His smile widened. 

It was pretty creepy. You gulp and lead him out of the room by his hand. 

You walk down the halls together until you reach the common area/room. 

You open the door with a flourish. 

“Welcome to your first day of Hell.”

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_ who were they? why did they look so  _ **_good_ ** _? _

_ no, bad, we don’t eat humans anymore, remember? _

Axe is unbuckled from the stretcher and gets led to the examination room. This is all new to him. He has never been in one of these places before, that’s more of Asylum Sans’ territory. 

He shouldn’t be here. He isn’t crazy. All he tried to do was kill Classic. 

_ fuckin’ depressed prick should be here instead of me.  _

Without realizing it, his hand starts to creep up to his dead eye socket. 

The nurse sees what he is doing and yanks it down. 

The nurses are scared of him. That much he can tell. That much is obvious by the way they stay out of reach and therefore out of harm's way.

He stays still while they weigh him and take his measurements. 

He starts to chuckle when he notices the human outline that they have in order to dictate where his scars are. 

The nurses look up at him horrified. 

One of male male nurses comes in to make sure he gets changed. That’s not necessary, everyone has seen a skeleton before. 

Axe rolls his eyes when he sees the male nurse examine his pelvis. 

_ you’re not gonna see anything down there unless i want you to see. dipshit.  _

The nurse obviously doesn’t know how magic works. Just to fuck with him, Axe summons a tongue and runs it across his sharp, crooked teeth. The nurse jumps back a little. 

_ you should be scared of me.  _

The nurse hands him the hospital’s uniform of a large cotton shirt and paper scrubs. They somehow manage to dig out a XXL shirt for him. 

The nurse then leads him into one of the rooms. Axe freezes when he steps through the doorway. 

_ that smell.  _ **_food_ ** _.  _

_ no, not food. not food. just a really good smell that so happens to be coming from that sleeping person. is it them?  _

The male nurse pushes him into the bathroom attachment and hands him soap and a stick of deodorant. 

“Go crazy, don’t wake up your roommate. We  _ will  _ have you change rooms if necessary. We  _ will  _ check up on you every 5 minutes to make sure that  _ you  _ haven’t killed them.”

_ prick.  _

Like he would ever kill someone. 

_ heh. _

Axe drags himself out of the shower. It would probably rank on the top five chart of the most piss-poor showers he’s ever taken. 

He walks out of the bathroom and freezes. There's that smell again. 

He forces himself to walk to his bed instead of going towards yours. He doesn’t want you to think he’s a creep on the first day. 

Even though you smell so  **_good_ ** _.  _

He lays down on the hospital's creaky old bed, turns over, and lets his blood-red eyelight settle on your form. 

He knows you're awake, and he knows you're frightened. 

He tries to send out calming energy so you can go to sleep. He can feel it’s working. 

Soon, you're asleep, and Axe follows along soon after. 

* * *

  
  


Axe wakes up to someone licking him. 

_ what on earth? _

He looks up. It’s you. You are currently being trapped by his arms and are pulled flush against him. You look like you’re blushing. 

He smiles at that. 

“Do you mind?”

Your voice is strange. What is that accent? It’s deep, but it sounds forced, like your natural voice is high, but for some reason, you want it to be deep. 

He realizes you asked him a question. 

_ i don’t mind at all.  _

“... not at all.”

He starts to nuzzle into you. 

Oh lord you’re soft. And you smell so  **_good_ ** . 

If he wasn’t a cannibal anymore (don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind the odd treat here and there), he would have already snapped your neck and brought you home to Paps. 

But he’s already reached rock bottom by being here, so what’s stopping him?

Axe gets abruptly shoved out of bed. 

_ did they just do that? are they not scared? _

He hears rustling, and watches as you start to walk past him. 

You say something, but Axe is too caught up in memorizing your face. He doesn’t want to forget something important again.

You stop, and hold out your hand. Axe is confused, do you want him to take it? He does, and you hoist him up. 

He doesn’t want to let go. He focuses and memorizes the feeling. Soft, but the pads of your fingers are rough and calloused. He looks at the back of your hand to see old scars and new scars etched cleanly across the skin. 

_ who did this to you? _

_ is that why you’re here? _

You give his hand a shake. 

“Pyxis.”

Axe realizes you want him to say his name. 

“... axe.”

Your face seems to scrunch up for a moment. You get an “oh shit” look. 

“Pronouns?”

Axe stifles a chuckle. Is it really that hard to tell, or is it just his name? 

You’re cute to be worried about his preferences when really you should be worried by the amount of danger you’re in. 

_ cute? when did i think that? _

“... he/him.”

You try to pull away from him. 

_ no wait, don’t go.  _

He squeezes your hand in warning. 

You seem to get the hint and give him a smile. A genuine smile. 

_ how cute.  _

“Alright then, let us go and conquer the day!”

He can hear the fear in your voice. 

You lead him down the hall by his hand. 

You take him to a door and open it up with a grand wave of your hand. Axe appreciates this gesture. It’s unnecessary, but it seems like it suits your personality. 

“Welcome to your first day in Hell.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on doing chapter updates every Sunday and Wednesday, so look forward to that!
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome!


	4. In Which, You Body Slam A Skeleton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Axe's visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey dudes! As promised, here is another chapter written for you lovely people. 
> 
> I really want to thank everyone who has read my story so far, I was def not expecting this much positive affirmation.

You and Axe stand in the doorway of the common room. All eyes immediately draw to Axe. Kimi however, seems invested in the fact that you are holding hands with the seven foot something monster next to you.

You guide him into the room. No one speaks. The only noise is coming from the TV. 

You sit him into the chair next to the vital station and smile. 

You look up at the nurse. 

“We good?”

The nurse seems to snap out of her trance. 

She nods her head and shakily starts to attempt taking Axe’s vitals. 

You slide your hand out of Axe’s while he isn’t looking and go to sit next to Kimi. Kimi immediately slides her hand into yours.

_Jeez, what is with clingy people and me?_

Kimi puts her hand on your cheek and turns your head so you’re facing her. 

“Did he hurt you?”

She looks so serious right now. You almost start laughing considering the guy that she’s worried about, just snuggled you. 

“Nope, no harm, no foul.”

Well, besides the fact that he basically forced you into bed and then proceeded to nuzzle you. 

Kimi looks significantly more relaxed when you say that. She turns her attention back to the TV. You turn your attention to Axe who is still sitting in the vital chair. He’s staring right at you. 

You gulp for the second time that morning. His expression seems to express that he can’t decide if he wants to eat you, or snuggle you some more. 

That’s kind of terrifying. 

The nurse eventually gives up on trying to take Axe’s vitals and lets him loose. He immediately goes to sit next to you. 

_Lovely, the scariest guy in this place clings to me. Why do you hate me so God?_

He takes the hand that isn’t being occupied by Kimi. Kimi notices this and glares at him. You consider telling both of them that it is a no-touch-facility. Chances are, if you did tell them, Axe wouldn’t care, and Kimi would just up the amount of physical contact. 

You didn’t mind contact, it was just strange to you since **_he_ **never showed this much affection. 

The nurse called everyone for breakfast. You stand up quickly, hoping to dislodge the two clingy hands on yours. Nope, you just end up dragging them with you. 

All three of you walk down the hallway toward the cafeteria hand in hand, getting some strange look from the nurses. 

They have a right to look at you strangely considering one of them is looking at you like he wants to take a bite out of you, and the other is staring straight ahead with a pissed off look on her face. 

You all choose a table to sit down in with your breakfast (today is waffles and bacon). You decide to break the silence. 

“Alright, Kimi, what’s up. You look like someone just ran over your foot and insulted your dog.”

She looks down, almost guiltily, “Well, uh, I’m leaving today. And I don’t feel comfortable leaving you with **_him_ **.” She gestures to Axe. In turn, Axe growls at her. 

If you didn’t hear him speak this morning, you would have just thought all the noise he could make were growls. 

“See, that. That is why I don’t want to leave.” Kimi pointed out after Axe finished his growling. 

“Ey, dude, be nice. He’s probably terrified. Why don’t we just talk to him and figure him out. Besides, you need to leave before they decide to put you in a long term facility.”

Kimi rolled her eyes, “As long as you’re there, I’ll gladly go.” You blushed at this while Axe continued to growl. 

“See! The dudes’ a creep!”

You shoot Kimi a stern look. 

“you two are talkin’ like i ain’t even here.”

Kimi turns and looks at him, “Ah, so he does speak.”

“i can do more than that, wanna see?” 

He starts leaking tendrils of magic from the hole in his skull. 

“Was that a threat blowhard?”

You put your hands against your ears and squeeze your eyes shut. You hate when people argue. It never ends up well. 

It reminds you of him. 

_Hey, he’s not here, it’s ok._

_No, nonono, he’s gonna send me to long term. I’m going to be in this hell hole forever. Nonononono, I can’t do that._

“-xis, Pyxis! Ey!”

You are snapped out of your thoughts to see a very concerned looking Axe and Kimi. 

“What happened to you?”

She pulls your hand down from your hair. You didn’t even realize that you were starting to tug it. 

“I’m ok.” You smile weakly at them. 

They both just stare at you. You start to get uncomfortable. You decide to just ignore them and go back to eating your bacon. 

_Speaking of which…_

“Hey Axe, so yesterday Kimi and I were talking about what the strangest meat we’ve ever tried was. Her’s was bison, which is totally vanilla, and mine was alligator. So, what’s yours’?”

Axe freezes and looks up at you. 

“... you really want to know?”

“Sure! I won’t judge! I mean, it’s meat, why would I judge?”

“... human.” he mumbles. 

You freeze and look up at him. 

“Human?”

He made a noncommittal sound in the back of his throat (do skeletons have throats?).

“Dude! That’s sick!”

Kimi looks pale. 

“What do you mean that’s sick?! He’s a cannibal!”

You retort back: “Techincally no, cause he’s a monster. But man, I’ve always kinda wondered what human tastes like.”

Kimi just looks shocked, while Axe looks like he’s hit the jackpot. 

“Hey, don’t look at me like that, at least I don’t fetishize it.”

“What?!”

“Ever heard of vore?”

Axe starts laughing. Kimi looks bright red. 

“How the hell do you know about that,” Kimi hisses. 

“The internet,” you say with a smug smile on your face. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


After breakfast, its group. Axe gets pulled away to do paperwork, and you are left with Kimi. 

“So you’re leaving today, huh?”

Kimi looks at you with a sad smile. 

“Yep, pretty much. I would take you with me, but my parents don’t think I should be around people like you.”

You look at her curiously. 

“Whatdoyou mean people like me?”

Kimi sighs and looks down at the dirty linoleum floor. 

“You never said how you got in here, but I can tell, it wasn’t very good. No matter how much I might want to be your friend, or maybe something more,” you perk up at that, “my parents would never allow it, they say that anyone I meet in here is a bad influence,” you deflate. 

Great, you're never gonna get a big-tiddy goth girlfriend at this point. 

“So, when are you leaving?” 

“15 minutes before visiting time.” 

She looks sad. You rest your hand on her thigh as a comfort. She leans her head on your shoulder. 

The rest of the group is spent in silence between the two of you. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Axe comes back after the group and the rest of the day Kimi spends clinging to you and snarling at Axe whenever he tries to touch you. 

Lunch passes by, as do roomtime (you just sit and read in the corner of your room while Axe stares at you), and more groups, until it’s time for Kimi to go. 

Kimi pats your head and stands up to leave with her parents. You walk her to the door and watch her go. 

Right before she turns the corner and you think you’ll never see her again, she runs back up to you. 

“Hey, don’t you need to-”

She grabs your face and pulls you in for a kiss. 

If you were to describe it in one word, it would be “sweet”. 

There was nothing rushed about it. Her lips were incredibly soft.

However, as soon as it started, it ended. She pulled back and looked at you with a sweet smile. 

“See you in Hell, Pyxis.”

You smiled back. 

“I’ll be sure to stop and say hi,” you responded. 

She winked at you and turned on her heel, walking back towards her parents. 

You let out a low whistle. 

Walking back into the common room, you noticed two things, one, everyone was crowded around the windows and was looking at you, and two, Axe had a broken marker in his hand with ink sprayed all over his phalanges. 

You smirked as someone started to clap. The nurses looked done with everything. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“You getting any visitors today?”

It was about 13 minutes until visiting hours, you assumed that you wouldn’t be getting any, like yesterday. 

Axe nodded his head slowly. 

“... my bro and dust.”

You made a face. 

“Who’s Dust? Like we talkin someone’s remains or like an actual person?”

“nope, he’s an actual person. skeleton actually.”

You nod your approval. 

“Your bro a skeleman too?”

His eye light brightens up and expands a little in the socket. You can tell you’ve picked a good subject. 

“yep,” he nods, “one of the coolest people you’ll ever meet.”

You smile at his sentiment. 

“It’s good that you and your bro have a good relationship.” 

He nods again. 

You think he’s trying to be sneaky, but he manages to get his hand into yours. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


As soon as the clock strikes 4:30, the doors of the hospital wing burst wide open and in struts an extremely tall skeleton. 

This guy must have been at least 10 feet tall!

You and Axe are waiting by the front desk for his visitors.

The first thing you notice about this tall skeleton are his teeth. He’s got a mouthful of extremely crooked teeth. His jaw looks like he could take your head off in one bite. 

The second thing you notice is that he is not alone. He’s got another skeleton next to him (how many are there?). 

You take a moment to study the both of them. The tall one is extremely lanky, and is hunched over, most likely because the ceiling is only about 9 feet tall. He’s wearing some sort of armor, but armor that looks like it has seen years of wear and tear. It’s covered with stains and tears. The only thing that isn’t torn is his red scarf, that seems to be in pristine condition. 

The shorter one looks exactly like Axe, minus the head wound. Besides the head wound, the only thing different about them are the eyes and the teeth. While Axe only has one red eye, this guy has got one red eye, and a blue eye rimmed in red, and his teeth aren’t as messed up as Axe’s. He’s wearing a blue sweatshirt with a grey hood, a red scarf, basketball shorts. The hood on his hoodie is pulled up over his skull.

You expect that these are Axe’s visitors. 

You take a step forward before Axe can stop you. 

“Hey! You guys must be Axe’s visitors right?”

Both of the skeletons in front of you zero in on your form. 

You see something snap behind their eyes (eye sockets? whatever). 

Before you can even say, “oh shit.” The tall one lunges at you. 

Your head is grabbed by gloved hands, you are turned around so your back is pressing against the dude’s ribs. One lanky arm is across your chest and gripping one side of your head, while the other hand is gripping the opposite side. You know this position. You’ve seen it while watching several horror movies. This is the position people use to snap other people’s necks. 

That dawns on you and you immediately start struggling. You can hear the nurses shouting in the background, and you can see Axe making frantic hand movements in front of you. You’re gonna die. 

_Holy shit I'm gonna die._

_I don’t wanna die. Not yet at least. Gimme like a couple weeks then I’ll be over life._

You are filled with **_determination_ ** _._

In one movement, you arch your back, planting the soles of your feet on your captors rib cage, you reach up and grab his arms around your neck. You thrust forward with all your might, in a desperate attempt that it will flip him over. 

You end up body slamming a skeleton. 

Next thing you know, you are laying on your back, on top of the lanky skeleton who moments ago, tried to kill you. You immediately scramble off of him and put a great amount of distance between the two of you. 

You see Axe help the lanky skeleton up off of his back and start talking to him in hushed tones. You try to make eye contact with him, so he can explain everything that’s going on, but he glares at you in return. 

_Shit, was that his brother?_

You look down at your feet and scuff the ground a little bit. A nurse rushes towards you. 

“Pyxis! Are you OK?”

You look at her and shake your head, “Naw dude, I’m fine. Just shocked me is all.” 

The nurse looked back at the two conversing skeletons, and you wonder briefly where the one with the hood went, “Well, still he’s gonna need to leave.”

The nurse goes back to Axe and who you assume is his brother. 

“Excuse me, Sir? I’m going to have to ask you to leave before you hurt someone else.”

The crestfallen look on the tall skeleton’s face is enough to make you pity him. 

_Welp, this is one way to make it up to Axe._

You power walk towards the nurse, “Hey wait, it’s ok, don’t bother them, they were just shocked, I don’t want to ruin their visit over me.”

Axe and his brother look at you flabbergasted. 

The nurse does too. 

“But he just tried to-”

You muster up a “growl” in the back of your throat, imitating the one you heard Axe use earlier today.

The nurse backed away and mumbled, “freak” under her breath. 

You turn to the brothers. 

“Hi, sorry, I must have come on too strong there, I’m Pyxis, I’m assuming you’re Axe’s bro right?”

You hold out your hand. 

“FOOD?”

_Holy crap he’s loud._

Axe whispers something to the tall skeleton. 

The skeleton straightens up (as much as he can as a 10 foot skeleton inside a 9 foot roof) and clears his throat (once again, do skeletons have throats?)

“I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT HUMAN FOOD, ERR, I MEAN, NOT FOOD! I DON’T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME! PERHAPS WE CAN START OVER?”

You smile.

_Awwww, he’s such a little cinnamon roll._

You nod your head. 

“Of course we can, erm, uh-”

He takes your outstretched hand, cutting you off. 

“HOW RUDE OF ME, I FORGOT TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. HUMAN, I AM THE GREAT PA- ERM, CROOKS!”

You giggle. 

“No problem dude, we all forget the silliest things sometimes.”

Crooks smiles brightly at you. 

You look around. 

“Where’d the other dude go?”

Crooks tilts his head. 

“WHAT OTHER DUDE, TINY HUMAN?”

You feel a bony hand clamp down on your mouth. 

“heya bunny, hope you didn’t forget about me.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliff-hanger.
> 
> So, the next 3-4 chapters will be in the hospital, I've got the next two written, but I want to always be a couple steps ahead of you guys, in case I mess up or something.
> 
> I also made a tumblr! I have no idea how to use it or what the purpose is, but I have it!
> 
> Go follow me (if you want) @orions-doubt. I really don't know how to work tumblr. 
> 
> Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated!


	5. In Which, You Have A Mental Breakdown (Again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get some answers on why Axe is so clingy. You also get triggered. Fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 900 hits babyyyyyy!
> 
> Alright, so story time. When I was little, like 1st grade, I was obsessed with monster high dolls, maybe that's why I like the supernatural so much. But anyways, I thought that my only way to get into a school like monster high was to become a vampire like Draculaura. I didn't have any blood, so what did I do? My friends and I would steal ketchup packets and drink them. It came the the point where I was doing it because I really liked ketchup instead of me wanting to be a vampire. Sadly, I now have grown out of the phase and I prefer mustard instead (not drinking it, def not drinking it).
> 
> End story time. Alright kiddos, hope you enjoy this chapter.

You let out an unrefined squeak. In a moment of poor judgement, you bite the hand that is currently wrapped around your mouth. 

The hand pulls back and you hear cursing behind you. 

You dash over the Axe, hoping that he’ll protect you in some way or another. No, he just looks amused. 

You get fed up.

“Alright, can someone tell me what the actual hell is going on here?!”

All the current skeletons in the room look at you. 

You sigh and shake your head. 

“You know what, whatever, I’m gonna go play Uno.”

You start to walk away. However, you only make it two steps before Axe catches your arm. 

“uh, it’s your scent.”

You give him a pissed off look. 

“What the hell do you mean it’s my scent? _Sorry_ if the soap here fricken sucks!”

He looks guilty. 

“no, i mean, you smell good. like, really good.”

You roll your eyes. 

“What are you, Edward Cullen? You wanna suddenly drink my blood, then this turns into a really creepy romance where you watch me in my sleep?”

You feel a hand on your shoulder. 

“naw, bunny, for them, they want to eat you, for me, i just really want to kill you.”

“Then what the hell is stopping you?” you retort back. “Go on, don’t be a pussy, do it.”

You can feel the tension in the room. Some sort of static electricity around you. 

After a solid five seconds, you hear a sigh. 

“i can’t.”

Once again, you roll your eyes for what feels like the 100th time in the past 5 minutes. 

“I have legitimately no idea what to do with this information. You know what? Ok, here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re all gonna sit down at that table,” you point to one of the tables in the common room, “and we’re all gonna play Uno while we try to figure this shit out.”

You hear a snort from the skeleton behind you (who you assume is Dust). 

“bunny, what’s uno gonna solve?”

You turn around to look at him. 

“First, don’t call me Bunny, pet names are a no-no, second, I just want something to do with my hands cause otherwise imma gonna go bat-shit crazy and last time that happened, I cut someone’s dick off, but I’mprettysureyouguysaresafebecauseyou’reskeletonsandnowi’mjustrambeling-”

“you cut what now?”

You stop, take a deep breath. 

_1… 2… 3…_

“Nevermind. Come on, let’s play Uno.”

You grab Crooks by the hand and lead him into the common room and sit him down at the table. You observe how cute the dude is, his eyes (sockets?) are wide, and the tiny eye lights are zooming around as if they are trying to retain all of the details in the room. You take the seat opposite from him and sit down. 

You notice the two look-alikes are still standing. 

You gesture towards the seats. 

“Well? Sit down, I’m not gonna bite.”

Axe smiles widely, “oh, but we are.” 

Dust gives an equally unnerving smile. 

You fail to hide the shiver that goes down your back, they unfortunately notice this and their smiles grow wider. 

_Control yourself! Jesus Christ how pent up are you?!_

You straighten up and glare at them. 

“Just sit your asses down.”

Dust cocks a brow at you ( _they have eyebrows?_ ). 

“...Please?”

They sit. 

_Thank God._

You give a sigh of relief and start shuffling the cards. 

After the many times you have been in residential, and in hospital, and in long-term, you learned there isn’t much you can do besides talk and play cards, so over the years, you have managed to figure out how to actually shuffle properly by doing the “bridge”. 

You halve the deck, put each half in a hand with your thumbs at the end, and let your thumbs stroke up, letting the cards fall into place. Then you pick up the uneven deck, put your thumbs on the middle top where the two decks of cards meet, and bend the deck so it falls neatly into place. 

You repeat the process a couple more times, not aware of the fact that you have three pairs of eyelights watching your hands intensely (at least you aren’t camping, cause like, in- _tents_ -ly). 

Finally, you deem the cards shuffled enough and you pass out 7 cards to each player, dealing them out in a circle. 

“Oldest goes first. How old are you guys anyways?”

The skeletons shift uncomfortably. 

“Shit, sorry is that rude?” You hide your face behind your cards. 

“NO NEED TO WORRY HUMAN, WE ARE NOT OFFENDED, JUST WORRIED THAT YOU MIGHT FREAK OUT!”

You raise an eyebrow. 

“Kay, so how old are you?”

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM 320 YEARS OLD, HOWEVER, I STOPPED AGING AT 24!”

Your mouth drops open. 

Axe and Dust look amused at your reaction.

“i’m 325, dust is 239.”

“Okkkkk, I did not see that coming. Y'all are geezers compared to me.” 

You nudge Axe (who is sitting next to you, like always) with your elbow. 

“Alright grandpa, you go first.”

He puts down a yellow 3 and the game starts. 

  
  
  
  


A few rounds pass and you start to get impatient. Mostly because no one’s saying anything about just what happened 20 minutes ago. That, and, you seem to have three pairs of eyelights staring at you. One innocently, the next hungerly, and the last intensely. 

“Alright, so does anyone want to tell me what your guys’ deal is?”

“...” 

No one spoke. 

You sigh again, and run your hand down your face. 

“Fine, hey Axe, wanna hear something interesting.”

You look up from your cards to see Axe already staring at you. 

“Fun fact, every truck is a food truck for cannibals,” you say nonchalantly. 

Axe chuckles. 

“Ok, _now_ can you tell me?”

Axe looks at Dust and the both shrug to each other. 

“there’s really not that much to say,” Dust starts out, “but for monsters, scent is extremely important, usually, if you react strongly to someone's scent, that means they’re a potential match for you. i’ve had matches before, but for some reason, your scent is a lot stronger.”

You ponder this. 

“Humans kinda have something like that, usually, if you like the way someone smells, it means they have a very different immune system than you, this allows genetics to be mixed up when having kids.”

Axe looks at you strangely. 

“how the hell do you know that?”

You shrug. 

“Biology, bitch.”

Everyone falls silent for a few more minutes, a few rounds around the table before you speak up again. 

“So basically, you guys are attracted to my scent. Is that why Axe was so cuddly this morning?”

A faint dusting of red is seen on Axe’s cheek bones. 

_Can skeletons blush? Oh my God that’s so cute!_

Axe nods slowly. 

“Kay, so how does that explain how Crooks wanted to eat me and Dust wanted to kill me.”

The skeletons at the table look uncomfortable. 

“What, we’re literally in a mental hospital, we wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something horribly wrong with us,” you gesture between yourself and Axe, “and I can assume that since y’all are friends/related, there’s something wrong with you guys too.”

Axe bristles when you say that. 

“No offense,” you add. 

“it’s our love.”

You scrunch up your nose. 

“Wouldn’t your love do the opposite?”

Dust rolls his heterochromic eyelights.

“love, level of violence. between the three of us, we have a very high amount. it makes us want to hurt you initially instead of mate you.”

You blush bright red at this.

“Who the hell said anything about mating?”

Now it’s Axe’s turn to roll his eye. 

“you really think that was platonic cuddling?”

You somehow manage to turn even redder. That causes Dust and Axe to snicker. 

“You know what, I’m done with this conversation. Crooks! What interests do you have?”

You desperate attempt at changing the subject once again gets some chuckles from the two shorter skeletons. 

Crooks brightens up at the mention of him. 

“BUT OF COURSE YOU WOULD WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME. ONE OF MY MOST FAMOUS AND POPULAR QUALITIES MAY JUST BE THE FACT THAT I AM A MASTER SPAGHETTOR! NO ONE CAN RESIST MY SPECIAL SPAGHETTI!”

You tilt your head. 

“What’s the defining factor that makes it special?”

Crooks shifts and clears his throat. 

“ERM, PERHAPS YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO KNOW…”

You furrow your brow. 

“What, do you use like baby cows or something for meatballs?” you ask teasingly.

“YES, OR SOMETHING!”

_That makes no sense._

_Wait…_

_Didn’t Axe say...?_

You open your mouth with a small ‘o’. 

“didja figure something out there, peaches?”

Axe has a shit-eating grin on his face. 

You refuse to be bothered by this. 

“Hey, that actually sounds pretty good! Make sure you make me some one of these days, dude!”

Now Dust looks shocked, Axe doubles over laughing. 

“y-you really weren’t kidding about wanting to eat human, huh?”

You grin, “Nope! I’m always down to try new things!”

Dust shakes his skull, “you mean, you guys have had this conversation before?”

“Yep!”

Dust murmurs something about Axe infecting you. 

* * *

Soon enough, visiting time is almost over. 

You follow Dust and Crooks to the exit of the hospital wing. 

“HUMAN, IS THERE ANY POSSIBLE WAY WE COULD MEET AGAIN?”

You smile up at the tall-ass cinnamon bunny. 

“Of course dude, I’ll just have to keep hanging around with Axe.” 

When you say that, Axe drapes his arm over your shoulder and pulls you in. You turn and give him a glare, in response to this, he gives you another maniacal shit-eating grin. 

Crooks tries to go in for a hug, but is stopped. 

“Hey! This is a no touch-facility! I know we’ve been lenient with you two, but I’m putting my foot down for visitors!”

The nurse who yells at you looks really pissed off, like she’s about to blow a gasket. 

Crooks sighs dramatically and exits the building. Dust simply winks at you with that creepy grin and disappears in thin air. 

You blink, “What the fuck was that?”

“Maggiiccc” Axe wiggles his phalanges. 

You huff and roll your eyes (again). 

* * *

In the next 15 minutes, the nurses take everyone down for dinner. Axe is still hanging onto you, and is currently telling you a plethora of dead baby jokes which you can’t stop laughing at. 

“alright, here’s another one. what’s the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?”

“Hmm?” you are currently sipping a mixer of cranberry juice and apple juice, too preoccupied to give a real response. 

Axe pauses for dramatic effect. 

“i don’t have a lamborghini in my garage.”

You do a spit take and end up spewing your strange juice mix across the table.

However, your interesting combo is not nearly as interesting as what you see Axe do next. 

You watch in horror as he takes a ketchup packet, tears it open with his claws, and proceeds to slurp the thing like it’s go-gurt. 

“Dude! What the actual Hell!”

“it’s basically a smoothie.”

You open your mouth to say something, then close it, then open it again. You probably look like a fish. 

“You know, you’re not wrong…”

Axe smirks at this and leans back in his chair. 

“Whatever dude, just don’t get a big head.”

He taps the side of his skull where the hole is. 

“id all leak out anyways.”

“METAPHORICALLY!”

* * *

After 30 minutes, the nurses take everyone back into the ward and to their rooms to do hygiene. 

You let Axe shower first, and laugh at him when you hear a bar clanging due to him knocking down the shower curtain with his tall stature. 

It takes you both a solid 10 minutes to get it back in place (mostly Axe putting it back in place while you try to help to no avail).

You end up taking a very short shower since Axe somehow managed to use up all the hot water in the two minute shower he took (do skeletons even feel heat?). 

* * *

The nurses take you out of your rooms for meds and movie time. The movie chosen tonight is _Inside Out_. You hate this movie, for some strange reason it always triggers you, that one part where Bing-Bong or whatever the hell his name is gets forgotten

No matter how much you try to argue with the others in the ward about how much you fucking hate the movie, they decide to watch it anyways. 

You have a giant fear of being forgotten for some reason. It probably stems from the fact that you don’t have any friends. 

Truth be told, you were kind of a scardy cat, you pretended you weren’t, but the dark still terrified the hell out of you. 

That brings you back to the movie in front of you. You know what scene is coming up, you know what’s going to happen to you. 

You start hyperventilating. Axe, who is holding your hand again, looks over at you in curiosity. 

This doesn’t help your case. For you, once you’re triggered by one thing, your mind can spiral downward into oblivion in 5 seconds This is exactly what it's doing now. 

_Shit shit shit._

You look around you to make sure there is nothing in the darkness of the corners in the room.

_Shit was that…?_

You think you see something watching you. 

_Dark, dark, dark it’s so dark. Darkdarkdarkdarkdark._

“pyxis?” 

Something touches your arm. You can’t see. You scream and flail, trying to get away from whatever is touching you. 

“pyxis?” 

You hear your name, but you can’t see shit. 

_Dark. Why is it so dark._

_What’s touching me, WHAT THE FUCK IS TOUCHING ME._

_GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY GETAWAYGETAWAY._

You let out a blood curdling scream. You can’t see shit. 

You trash about, trying to get out. You can’t see. 

Something latches onto your arms and pin them behind your back. You kick frantically. 

_NO nonononononononononono._

You feel a sharp pain in the side of your arm. You feel yourself slowly sinking into oblivion. 

You want to see light again. You kick your legs feebly one last time before you sink deeper into the darkness. 

_Darker, yet darker._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader: *exists*
> 
> No one: 
> 
> Absolutely no one: 
> 
> Dust: you smell good, can i kill you?


	6. In Which, You Make Cookies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make cookies. You also meet the "Trio of Assholes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotta couple of things to say about this chapter:  
> 1\. strait jackets suck, trust me on this one, your arms fall asleep in them  
> 2\. there is a slight mention of drugs, not hard core drugs, but still drugs  
> 3\. if it's not apparently obvious, I used to have a crush on Red before I found out about Horrortale.
> 
> And with that, enjoy! Next update will probably be sometime on Sunday.

You wake up in a room that looks straight out of a movie about an insane asylum. It’s about a 9x9 room with padded walls, floors, and ceilings. 

The cushions are cream colored and slightly yellowing. 

You go to stretch, you find you can’t move your arms. 

_ What the hell? _

You look down, you seem to be in some kind of strait jacket. Your arms are buckled behind your back. You probably look like someone out of a 1960’s insane asylum. 

_ Well shit.  _

You recall last night’s events. You were watching a movie.

_ Which movie?  _

_ Oh. That movie.  _

You don’t remember much else. 

* * *

  
  


After who-knows-how-long, a nurse comes into your padded cell and lets you out. 

You assume she wants to embarrass you or something, due to the fact that she doesn’t let you out of the strait jacket for another hour or two to make sure you “won’t hurt yourself again”. 

You have no idea what she’s talking about. All you can remember from last night is that stupid elephant/dolphin dude from the stupid movie.

You feel stares on your back everytime you turn. You can feel your hair is knotted and messed up, it must look like a bird's nest. Your eyes feel heavy and you can feel the dried tear tracks down your cheeks. 

When the nurse finally lets you out of your jacket for lunch, the first thing you do is go and hug Axe. You really need physical contact, and he seems happy to reciprocate. 

Since you haven’t eaten breakfast that day, Axe literally piles a mountain of food on your plate and forces you to eat it all. You don’t mind, you know he cares in his own weird way. Although, the way he stares at you when you eat is a little unnerving. 

* * *

  
  


The nurses take you back up to the hospital ward after lunch and herd everyone into the common room. 

The table is covered with a plastic tablecloth, like the kind you get for parties, and a whole slough of baking ingredients are spread out on the table. 

All purpose flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking soda, baking powder, eggs, milk, butter, vanilla, chocolate chips, etc, etc. 

You survey the ingredients and sit next to the chocolate chips. You pick up the bag and observe the label. 

_ Ah hell yea, dark chocolate! _

Not surprisingly, you see Axe in the corner of your eye sitting next to you. 

“Alright everyone, since it is a Saturday, the rest of the afternoon will just be free time, but first, to kick it off, we’re making cookies!”

You find it funny the way a group full of grown adults cheer at the notion of making cookies. 

One of the cooks from the kitchen walks into the room and starts to take charge. 

You are in charge of the chocolate chips. 

Axe is in charge of stirring. 

The dry ingredients are mixed together in one bowl, and the wet ingredients are mixed in another. Someone ends up spilling a shit-ton of sugar on the table. 

The wet are poured into the dry, and are stirred together. 

You notice that when Axe thinks no one is looking, he sneaks batter out of the bowl and into his mouth. 

Halfway in mixing the chocolate chips, the cook excuses herself to use the restroom. 

Chaos ensues. 

“I dare you to eat an egg. Raw.” 

“No way man! That’s sick!”

Two of the patients are daring each other to do stupid things. 

Axe is licking his phalanges. 

The person next to you face dives into a pile of sugar on the table. 

“DUDE! Are you ok?”

“Naw bruh, just snortin’ sugar.” 

You shake your head confusedly. 

“Excuse?”

He smirks at you. It’s not your fault you’re a virgin when it comes to drugs (and other things). 

“It gives you a sweeeeeeet drip.”

“An excuse me?!”

Another person across the table interjects. 

“Ok, so, when you snort something, the snot mixes with it and it drips down the back of your throat. The sugar mixes with snot, basically gives you sweet tasting boogers down the back of your throat.”

Your eyes widen. 

“What the actual fuck?”

The two people who were explaining this to you burst out laughing at your face. 

“Guys, guys! The cook is coming back!” someone harshly whispers to the room. 

Everyone straightens up and tries to pretend they weren’t doing anything. Except for Axe, he continues to lick the dough from his phalanges and the spoon. 

The cook notices this and glares at him. That doesn’t help, his red eye shrinks in his socket and his grin becomes maniacal. 

You roll your eyes. Of course he would become scary when someone tried to take cookie dough, of all things, away from him.

* * *

  
  


While the cookies bake, everyone argues about who gets the leftover chocolate chips. Not surprisingly, Axe ends up with the most. 

The rest of the afternoon up until visiting time is spent in the common room eating the cookies that everyone made. 

* * *

  
  


You turn around to look at Axe, sometime in the middle of the movie (you all are currently watching  _ The Matrix _ ), he had lifted you up and sat you on his lap. You didn’t really complain, you didn’t want to say it, but you were slightly terrified of him now that his brother actually confirmed that they ate humans (when the last time they ate one, the brothers never said). 

“Hey, is your bro comin’ today?”

Axe bristles. 

“naw, it’s the trio of assholes.”

He doesn’t look happy about this. You wouldn’t be happy about it either if you were getting visited by the ‘Trio of Assholes’.

“What’s so bad about them?”

Axe groans and leans his head back. 

“they think they’re so high and mighty, all because they came from the original 3 timelines.”

“Pardon, timelines?”

He waves his hand in a dismissing gesture. 

“i’ll explain it later.”

“...ah.”

You lean your head back to rest on Axe’s chest. The arms wrapped around your waist squeeze you closer. 

“that, and i tried to kill one of ‘em.”

You try to sit up and turn around to look at him, but his grip on your waist tightens in a warning squeeze. You try to remain calm. 

“What do you mean you tried to kill one of them, is that why you’re here?”

He gives a grunt that you take to mean as a yes. 

This does not make you feel any better at all. So he’s a human eater and a serial killer? Great. 

~~_ And hot. _ ~~ __

* * *

  
  


Visiting time comes. Instead of waiting outside near the entrance of the hospital ward, Axe continues to keep you on his lap in the common room. 

You figure that if they want to see him so bad, they’ll just have to find him. You kind of don’t want to meet his asshole visitors, but when you try once again to slip out of his death grip around your waist, he again, stops you with a warning squeeze. Obviously, you’re staying here whether you want to or not. 

You look out one of the windows of the common room that looks into the hallway. 

You see three people checking in at the front desk. No one else really gets visitors, so you expect that these are Axe’s.

After a few seconds, three people walk into the common room. 

_ Jesus Christ. Are all monsters skeletons? _

The one on the left was tall. Not as tall as Crooks, maybe 6’7” if you were guessing. His face kinda looked like Crooks too, but the eye sockets weren’t sucken and the dude's teeth don’t look like they were bashed with a baseball bat. He’s pretty lanky, long arms and long legs. He’s slightly hunched over and looks extremely bored. 

_ God, I hate the color orange.  _

He’s wearing an orange hoodie and cargo pants. To complete his outfit, he’s got crocs on and what looks like the stem of a lollipop stuck between his teeth. 

You get confused for a second when you look at the one in the middle. He looks like Dust and Axe, he’s even wearing the same sweatshirt as Dust, just without the hood up. In fact, you think the only difference between the two is the lack of scarf and the fact that this guy’s eyelights are just white pinpricks. 

You shake your head and move onto the last one, the one on the right. 

_ Holy shit…  _

_ I want that jacket.  _

The first thing you notice is his jacket. It’s a black zip-up with white fur out lining the hood that looks really  _ really  _ soft. You wanna touch it. The zipper teeth are gold and spiky and there are yellow stripes going down the sides of the arms. You really want to steal that jacket. 

The second thing you notice is that this guy looks like the middle guy, just less vanilla. The guy on the right seems to have a color theme of red, black, and gold/yellow. The dude is wearing basketball shorts with a yellow stripe running down the sides and untied red vans. Underneath that amazing hoodie of his, he’s wearing a bright red turtleneck. Some of the more edgier features on this guy that you notice ( ~~ and find hot ~~ ) are his sharp teeth (one of them being gold) and the gold spiked collar around his neck. 

Fuck, you  _ reallllly  _ want that jacket. 

After you’re done spacing out and observing them, you notice that all of their eyelights (two pairs white, one pair red) are trained on you. You feel extremely uncomfortable. You shift around in Axe’s lap. Are they going to try to eat you too? You hope not. 

The group of three walk over to where you and Axe are sitting. Axe mumbles something under his breath that you can’t quite catch. 

The looks that these three skeletons are giving you really makes you want to leave the common area and hide in your room. 

“who are you?”

The one on the left in the orange hoodie speaks first. He looks mad? But also confused? How the hell can a literal skeleton be so expressive? 

You really don’t know what to say to this dude. He did ask you a question. Better answer it before he gets even more mad. 

“Uh, Pyxis,” you try to maneuver your arms out from underneath Axe’s, but fail, “I would shake your hand, but uh, I seem to have a barnacle attached to me.” You chuckle awkwardly trying to relieve tension. 

The red one looks miffed. 

“ewe didn’ mention anythin’ abou’ a potential mate!”

You groan. 

“Don’t tell me, I smell good right?”

The orange one speaks next, “how did you…?”

“Axe told me yesterday when Dust tried to kill me.”

The red and the orange one groan. The one in the middle hasn’t done anything, just stared at you. 

“So, ya gonna introduce yourselves?”

“name’s red,” he winks. You notice he has a slight boston accent. 

~~_ Swoon. _ ~~ __

“stretch.”

_ What? _

“No thanks dude, you can go right ahead though, I ain’t stopping you.”

He chuckled and shook his head. 

“that’s my name.”

_ What the fuck? Who the hell names their child Stretch? Did he pick it out or something? If so, what the fuck? Or is he non binary too, them? _

“Right, sorry. Uh, are you-”

“not nonbinary, imma guy.”

“Sorry.”

“no problem, honey.”

You wrinkle your nose. The last person that called you a pet name nearly tried to kill you. That and pet names to you were just cringy in general. 

You try to make a gesture with your hand still stuck under Axe’s arms to the guy in the middle. 

“Who’s he?”

The middle one (who you take as the leader considering he oozes dominance) steps forward, hands still in his pockets. 

“sans, sans the skeleton.”

“Like the font?” you start giggling, “that's gotta be the most memed font ever.”

The skeleton you now know as Sans grimaces. 

“yea, i’m aware of that.”

You struggle a little bit in Axe’s hold. 

“Axe, dude, ya wanna let me go so I can give you time alone with the assholes?”

“assholes?” Stretch echoes. 

You shrug, “That’s what he told me.”

“an’ ewe’re gonna believe a cannibal?” Red looks pissed.

You shrug again. 

“Might as well. He got to me first, so I trust him more than I trust alleged assholes at this point.” Axe finally lifts his arms up and you stand up from his lap, “by the way Stretch, orange is a God-awful color.”

You skip out of the room just in time to hear Axe’s slightly disturbing laugh.

* * *

  
  


You hang out in your room for the rest of visiting hours. You are kind of all socialed out for the day. 

You manage to get a shower in (so Axe doesn’t use all the hot water before you do) and get some reading done. You’ve just finished the hospital's copy of  _ The Hunger Games,  _ so now you are starting on  _ Alice in Wonderland _ . You’ve never read the book, but you did enjoy Tim Burton’s adaptation of it. You always loved a good Tim Burton movie. And who could resist Johnny Depp? Certainly not you. Then again, you also had a thing for Helena Bonham Carter (even though they were both like, 30 years older than you).

* * *

  
  


You walk out of your room and into the hallway when you hear the doors of the hospital ward open and shut. 

Good. You didn’t want to have to talk to those pricks anymore than you needed to. You almost regretted not shoulder checking Red when you left the common room. 

The nurses immediately spot you and call you into the line for dinner. 

You take your place next to Axe. 

You both walk together down the long hallways and into the cafeteria. Tonight, it’s pizza. Greasy pizza. And they don’t have Hawaiian cause apparently “pineapple doesn't belong on pizza” (it totally does). 

You both sit down at your usual table in the back. You eat in silence for a bit before Axe breaks the silence. 

“... i’ve got good news.”

You tilt your head and gesture for him to continue. 

“i’m leaving tomorrow.”

_ Oh, yay? _

“... Congrats.”

“and i uh, want you to come with me.”

You can’t believe your ears, you don’t have to go to long-term! 

This guy, that you’ve barely even known for two days, wants to take care of you. You! The one that cut their ex’s dick off!

“You sure you know what you're getting into?” you have to ask just to be sure.

He nods. 

“Oh my God!” you squeal and get up from your side of the table, run around the side of the table, and hug him around his neck. 

“Thank you so fucking much!”

You stop yourself, realizing that you are hugging a dude that you just met a day ago (even though he snuggled you first).

You release your arms from around his neck and take a step back. You notice the red blush across his cheekbones. 

“Sorry, uh, not sure what came over me.”

You walk back to your seat and sit back down. 

The rest of dinner you are radiating excitement, you really can’t wait to get out of this hellhole. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *gives puppy eyes* Can I borrow your jacket... I promise I'll give it back   
> Red: hell no ya crazy fangirl! back off!  
> Me: :(((
> 
> In all seriousness, if anyone knows where I can get one, please tell me, I suck at sewing.


	7. In Which, You Move In With A Shit-Ton Of Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You move in with the bone boys and get lost in the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends. Back with another update as promised. I'm glad y'all like it so far. 
> 
> Idk, but if you wanna, I have a tumblr. Go follow me @orions-doubt. I mean, you don't have to, but it would be fun to maybe talk to some of you guys. Or get ideas. 
> 
> I sound kinda like napstablook right now. 
> 
> As always, enjoy!

Once again, you wake up in the morning only to open your eyes and be blinded by the sun. 

You roll over on your side and look at the other bed which is currently occupied by your cannibalistic roommate. You wonder if he’s ever watched  _ The Silence of the Lambs _ . If he hasn’t you should really show him. You think he would like Hannibal. 

Besides Beetlejuice, that’s one of your favorite movies. For some reason you always wanted Hannibal to be your grandfather, since he gives out so many grandfatherly vibes. That and, he would not hesitate to eat anyone who wronged you. 

Now that you think about it, you have a whole collection of horror to show him. 

That’s right! You do have a chance to show him! He’s going to be taking care of you! Which is odd, it’s surprising that the hospital allowed a mentally unstable person to take care of another mentally unstable person. 

You’ll take what you can get. 

You sit up and stretch, popping your back that way you usually do, and getting to work on cracking your knuckles and digits. 

You stand up and walk to Axe’s side of the room. 

You gently shake him, trying to get him to wake up. You really don’t want to have to lick him again ( ~~ you kinda do ~~ ). Luckily, he isn’t feeling very clingy today. You see his sockets open and his red eye light flicker into existence. 

You lean down so you are eye level with him.

“Mornin’ sunshine! Today’s the day we bust outta here!”

He groans and turns over. You smirk. 

“Awww come on, don’t be like that! You’ll love me as a roommate!”

You pat his head, being careful of the head wound, when he doesn’t respond. 

“Kay, then imma just go and live with Kimi if you're gonna be like that.”

He shoots up and his eyelight focuses on you, shrinking. 

Uh oh, a shrinking eyelight doesn’t seem like a good thing. 

You squeak in fear and try to get away. You feel arms wrap around your waist and pull you back into Axe. You end up falling back into his lap. Luckily, your arms are free and you attempt to hit him.

“Dude! Let me go!”

He grunts and nuzzles into the back of your neck. 

You squeak even louder. 

“Lemme go you overgrown cat!”

You feel something wet and slimy drag up your neck. 

“What the actual fuck!”

You manage to break free of his arms and run a couple steps forward before stopping. You turn around just in time to see a blood red tongue flick into Axe’s mouth. 

You stare at his mouth in shock. 

“Y-you’ve gotta tongue?”

His usual manic smile grows wider when he hears your discomfort. 

“Man, I’m never gonna look at you the same way again.”

You turn and walk out the door, not bothering to check if Axe follows. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Breakfast passes smoothly, and so does the rest of the morning. Axe’s ride is picking both you and Axe up at around 1:15. So right after lunch. 

It’s currently lunch, and both you and Axe are eating roast beef sandwiches prepared by the kitchen. 

“So which one did you try to kill?”

“...classic.”

You tilt your head. 

“The vanilla lookin one?”

He chuckles.

“yea, the vanilla looking one.”

You hum in acknowledgement. 

“Soooo, why’d ya do it?”

His eyelight snaps to you and shrinks. 

_ Oops. _

He grumbles, “he was annoying the shit outta me.”

“Makes sense.”

Axe looks at you strangely. 

“... you don’t think like most people do you?”

“Nope. I like to think that mentally unstable people view the world for what it really is. A messed up ball of hate and misery.” Somehow you say this cheerfully.

“issat how you view it.”

You wave your hand. 

“I personally believe that all people are inherently cruel. For example, if there was no punishment for murder, you bet your ass everyone would want to do it, no matter how much they say they don’t. Everyone can be corrupted. Everyone at some point will admit to themselves that they have hidden desires and have an overwhelming urge to act on them. Does this make any sense to you? I feel like I’m just rambling.”

Axe just looks at you for a solid 30 seconds before slowly nodding in agreement. 

“Sorry, I’ll get off my soapbox now.”

You both don’t really talk for the rest of lunch. 

* * *

  
  


You hear someone burst into the hospital wards doors. 

It’s 1:15 on the dot.

_ Huh, Crooks must really be punctual.  _

You stand up and offer your hand to Axe. 

“Shall we?”

He rolls his eyelight and takes your hand to stand up.

You both walk out of the common room and up to the front desk to meet Crooks. 

_ Did Crooks get shorter? _

The skeleton you thought was Crooks turns around. 

_ That’s not Crooks. _

This guy looks like a less-beaten up Crooks. Luckier. Younger. His clothes have less rips and tears. The smile he is wearing on his face is full of straight perfect pearly-whites instead of crooked blood-stained teeth. 

The skeleton you thought was Dust turns around. 

You groan. 

It’s the blue asshole from yesterday. 

You turn to Axe. 

“This is your ride?”

His eye light swivels over to look at you. 

“tibia honest, i’m not sure what they’re doin here.”

You stifle the snicker whelming in your throat due to the pun with a cough and glare at him. 

“They don’t, like, live with you do they?”

Axe shifts on both of his feet. 

You groan again, louder this time. 

“Lovely.”

“hey human, that’s really no way to great a new pal.”

While you and Axe were bitching, Sans had finished the paperwork and made his way over to you. 

You glare at him. 

“I have a name, asshole.”

Sans smirks. 

“you’re name is asshole?”

You throw your hands up in the air. 

“Fuck you!”

He doesn’t miss a beat, “not without buying me dinner first.”

_ That bitch! _

That gets you angry. Really angry. You want to punch him in that smug little face of his. You want to rip out his ribs and play the xylophone on them. You want to-

You feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up to see Axe looking at you with a dilated eyelight. 

He reaches for your head and you flinch, only for him to take the hand down from your hair that you were starting to pull. 

Sans watches this encounter between the two of you. 

“fuckin great, the one person that smells good to us is fuckin crazy,” he mumbles, " the two of you done yet?”

You look back at Sans. 

With a sigh you nod your head. 

“Yes, lets go.”

Then you look around. 

“Where did the other one go?” You don’t want a repeat of what happened with Dust. You really don’t want to have to bite another skeleton hand. 

“he’s in the car.”

You give a nod of understanding and follow Sans out of the hospital ward, holding hands with Axe. 

* * *

You meet Papyrus once you get into the car. He’s very loud, louder than Crooks even. But he’s friendly, and not an asshole like his brother. Also, unlike his brother, he doesn’t comment anything about your smell or “potential mates” or any of that bullshit. 

You get to know a lot about Papyrus, considering it’s an hour drive from the psych ward to the “house”. “House” is in quotations because once you get there, you notice it’s more of a small castle instead. 

It’s tucked back into the woods about a half a mile from the main road. The house itself is a victorian. With spires and a wrap around porch. 

Papyrus all throughout the drive through the woods tells you details about the house. 15 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, 1 library, 2 kitchens, 3 living rooms, a dining area, a game room, a garden, a pool, everything that anyone could ever want in a house.

Why a house needed 15 bedrooms was beyond you. 

As soon as you step out of the car, you inhale deeply, taking in the scent of the pine trees and redwoods around you. It has rained recently. Wet tree combined with wet earth is one of your favorite smells in the world.

Papyrus gently puts his gloved hand on your back and guides you into the house. 

He then takes you on a tour. 

The bottom floor is dedicated to 2 of the living rooms, 1 kitchen, and 2 bathrooms. The second floor has 3 bathrooms, 7 bedrooms, the other kitchen, and another living room (which you think is the family room due to the amount of game consoles and movies that are stacked around the TV). The third floor has 2 bathrooms and 6 bedrooms. The last floor, the attic, is yours.

Papyrus wrings his hands together. 

“I’M SORRY HUMAN, THIS WAS ALL KIND OF RUSHED, BUT I HOPE IT MEETS YOUR REQUIREMENTS WHILE YOU STAY HERE!”

You beam at the tall skeleton and hug him around his waist (even though he’s 3 feet shorter than Crooks, you still are much shorter).

You hang on for about 3 seconds before stepping back. 

“Thanks Paps! I really don’t expect much, but this is phenomenal!”   
  


You observe the orange blush cross his face. 

_ Awww, he’s flustered. _

“NYEH-HEH-HEH, OF COURSE HUMAN! ONLY THE BEST COMES FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND BLUEBERRY!”

You tilt your head. 

“Blueberry?”

“you’ll meet them tonight at dinner, right now most of us are out doing our jobs.”

You give a small shriek in alarm when you hear the voice behind you. 

Sans walks out from behind the door post. 

“Jesus H. Christ!”

He chuckles, “nope, just sans.”

You frown and give him another glare for what seems like the 15th time in the past hour. 

“Asshole,” you mutter under your breath. 

Apparently he heard that because he gives you a shit-eating grin. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


In the next five minutes, you are able to shove everyone out of your room so you can admire it fully. 

A queen sized bed is pushed up against one corner, and a desk is pushed up against another. The floor is a nice maple hardwood, but most of it is covered by a shag area rug. There are several skylights covering the ceiling that let natural light stream into the room. Luckily, the skylight also comes with shades to block out the light if needed. There are about two windows on each wall, all have black-out curtains to go along with them. One side overlooks the driveway and front of the house, and the other sides view the surrounding forest and backyard. 

You really want to explore that backyard. 

You leave your room (you didn’t have any belongings to unpack anyways) and walk down to the backyard (only getting lost about 2 times). 

It’s a little chilly outside, considering it's autumn, you’re in a forest, and you haven’t yet changed out of your hospital scrubs (the hospital did give you your clothes back that you came in, but they were mostly covered with dick blood, and you didn’t want to have to explain to new roommates why they were covered red stuff). However, you have put on your platform shoes (that yes, the hospital did have, but took them off of you because they were considered a weapon). Now you look like you're making a statement by being out in the woods wearing nothing but a XL t-shirt, paper scrubs, and platform boots. 

You smile as you see the sun is only half way in the sky. No one will miss you if you go off exploring. Right? If they do, then it’s their own damn fault they got attached to you. 

You take off running into the thick of the woods, your shoulder length hair streaming behind you in ribbons, your platform boots making heavy clunking sounds against the earth while the crush soggy dead leaves into a pulp. You laugh and giggle like a schoolgirl in love. 

You keep running for maybe five minutes before you stop and bend down, hand on your knees to catch your breath. Running in heavy platforms really takes a lot out of you. 

You walk around, following some sort of path in your head. Your outstretched hand grazes the trees as you walk along. You hear the sounds of the forest around you, the pecking of a woodpecker, the croak of a frog, the chittering of squirrels. 

You are careful not to make any noise of your own, not to disturb the surroundings around you. 

* * *

  
  


Eventually, you lose track of time. The sun is going down, and you haven’t even made any headway to get back to the house. 

You don’t have a phone, so you can’t really call anybody. Even if you did, you don’t have anyone’s numbers. That’s just great. 

You keep walking. 

You don’t feel the grooves of the net beneath you. You hear a strange sound, and suddenly, you are lifted up into the air, encased in rope. 

You realize what the sound was, it was a rope going through a pulley. You smack your forehead. 

“Fuckin’ great.”

You assume that if a trap was out here, it was probably set up by one of the inhabitants. 

All you can do is wait.

* * *

  
  


It’s dark now. Nearly pitch black. You can’t see shit. You assume that some skeleton or another has probably figured out you’re missing by now. Or at least, you hope. 

You pass the time by singing “One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall”.

“45 bottles of beer on the wall, 45 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 44 bottles of beer on the wall. 44 bottles of bee-”

You stop suddenly when you hear a cracking noise. It sounds like footsteps.

“HEY! HEY! I’M UP HERE!”

You hear a chuckle and you look down. 

“seems like bunny is a little tied up.”

Dust is staring up at you with his heterochromic eyes and a wide creepy grin. 

You let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank God it’s you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I was found by one of those assholes. Do you know how much they would tease me? Anyways, can you help me get down?”

Dust chuckles when he hears the relief in your voice. 

He turns to… something next to him. 

“what do ya think paps, should we let ‘em down?”

You furrow your brow in confusion. 

“Is Papyrus down there with you?”

He doesn’t look back up at you, and continues to mumble to the space next to him.

_ Great, I was found by a crazy person.  _

You chuckle. 

_ Well, I can't really talk, now can _ I.

Dust apparently comes to a decision, since he walks up to the rope suspending you and unties it. You fall to the floor with a  _ whump _ . 

You groan and rub your now sore ass. 

“Gee thanks.”

He doesn’t say anything, but unceremoniously picks you up and slings you over his shoulder. 

“Hey man, I can walk just fine on my own.”

Once again, he doesn’t say anything and continues to trek through the woods in silence. You have no idea how he knows where he is going considering you can’t see more than 3 feet ahead of you. 

You normally have a good sense of direction, but something about these woods really messed with your head. 

Soon enough, you see the house come into view. Dust drops you unceremoniously on the porch. 

You stand up and turn around to thank him, but you can’t see him anywhere. 

_ What the hell? _

You shrug it off and enter in through the back door. 

“Hey guys, I’m back!”

You hear a shout, then the thundering of footsteps approaches from around the corner. You brace yourself for impact. 

“HUMAN!”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Ohhhhhh Mutttttttt~
> 
> Mutt: What the fuck you want. 
> 
> Me: Are you ready for your big debut?
> 
> Mutt: Yer gonna make me an asshole aren't you. 
> 
> Me: You know it ;)
> 
> Feel free to comment and give constructive criticism, I love hearing what you guys think.


	8. In Which, You Threaten Some Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet the gang and talk to them about why you got put in the hospital in the first place. That, and you act like a total brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The thing that everyone's been waiting for. The bois are finally going to find out why dear reader got put into the hospital. 
> 
> If y'all haven't noticed, this fanfiction is extremely self indulgent, so the character acts how I basically act n any given situation. 
> 
> With that, sit back and enjoy!

You feel something crash into you and you are toppled over. You land on your ass for what feels like the fifth time today (really it has only been 3). 

You peel open your left eye to see a small skeleton sitting on top of you, hunched over and staring you eye-to-eye-socket. 

_ Huh, that’s cute.  _

He’s got literal cyan stars for pupils. 

“Uh, hi, I’m-”

“PYXIS! YES I KNOW!”

You clear your throat and shift to sit up. He seems to understand and gets off of you, flushing a bright baby blue across his nasal ridge. 

“Right, so you know me, but who are you?”

He stands at attention and puffs his chest out with his hands on his hips. 

“I, HUMAN, AM THE MAGNIFICENT BLUEBERRY!”

_ Dear lord he’s adorable.  _

_ I’m gonna keep him.  _

You smile softly at him. 

“Well, sorry I’m late meeting you, I was taking a walk through the woods.”

Blueberry’s star-light things expand and he takes a dramatic gasp. 

“BUT DAMSEL, IT’S NOT SAFE FOR YOU OUT THERE!”

You cringe at his mistake. 

“Uh, Blueberry, dude, I’m not a girl.”

The stars in his eyes turn into cyan pinpricks. 

_ Huh, so he can change them.  _

He looks worried like he’s about to start crying. 

_ Shit.  _

“I’M SO SORRY MR. PYXIS, IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!”

He starts blubbering. 

You reach down and cup his cheekbone. You suck at comforting people. 

“Blue, you can just call me Pyxis ok? I’m not mad, everyone makes mistakes.”

He brightens up at this. 

_ Jesus Christ this child can change moods on a dime. That's kind of dangerous. _

“WOWZERS! FIRST NAME BASIS ALREADY! WE’RE GOING TO BE GREAT FRIENDS!”

You didn’t agree to any of this, but might as well make him happy, right?

Blue (you decided you would call him that for short) tugs you along into what you think is the dining room. Papyrus follows behind you guys. 

_ Holy shit, that’s a lot of skeletons.  _

There are 8 skeletons in the dining room before you. You feel all 8 pairs of eyes on you. 

You gulp. 

Someone breaks the silence. 

“IS THIS THE PSYCHO YOU MORONS BROUGHT TO LIVE WITH US?”

The one who speaks is extremely tall, thought that may be because of the high heels on his boots. He looks like an edgier version of Papyrus, with sharp cheekbones and three cracks running through his left eye socket. He’s also got extremely sharp teeth that look like they could bite your head right off if they wanted to (you see this feature as a recurring theme among the skeletons). 

You turn your gaze on him and make a show of looking him up and down. You smirk and lick your teeth. 

“Psycho, huh? I’m flattered.”

He doesn’t seem to be deterred from your gaze. What a shame. 

“WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY YOU IDIOTS DIDN’T PUT HER IN THE CABIN WITH THE REST OF THE CRAZIES!”

You narrow your gaze and open your mouth, but before you can say something, Blue cuts you off. 

“EDGE, SHE’S NOT A GIRL!”

You cringe, again. 

_ At least he’s trying, right? _

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S NOT A GIRL, OF COURSE SHE IS!”

A edgier version of Blue steps forward. Instead of a blue bandanna wrapped around his neck, he’s got a red tattered one. 

_ How many fucking skeletons are there? _ _   
  
_

You get pissed. 

_ Who the hell does this BITCH think he is, telling me what my gender is? _

You stomp up to him. Good thing he’s about 4 inches shorter than you, although that may be because of your boots. 

You grab him by the bandanna. 

“Who the  _ hell  _ are you calling a girl you dickless piece of SHIT!”

The edgy Blue looks shocked, like he wasn’t expecting you to retaliate. 

That moment only lasts a couple seconds before he turns smug. 

“MUTT!”

_ Is he really going to sic a dog on you? This bitch… _

You feel a skeletal hand on yours. 

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you.”

You look up into… Stretch’s face? No, this guy is like a combo of Stretch and Red. 

He’s got the face of Stretch, just with pointy teeth and golden fangs where someone’s canines would normally be. He’s also got orange eyelights that appear to be currently staring right through you.

You smirk up at him. You aren’t going to be intimidated by some “mutt”. 

“And what are  _ you  _ going to do about it?” You stick out your short tongue. 

You feel a crackle of static electricity in the air, similar to the one that happened around Dust. 

You assume this means he’s ready to fight. 

You let go of the tiny red dude’s bandana and back up. You smirk at him.

“Come on, don’t be afraid to hit me. Bet you won’t do it. Pussy.”

A few seconds are wasted. 

The “mutt” sighs and the static dissipates. 

You scoff. 

“See, told you so.”

You look around. Everyone seems to be staring at you, some with awe, others with disgust, and one… you don’t even want to say what look Red seems to be giving you. 

You clap your hands together. 

“Welp, seeing as that my boy Axe ain’t here. I’m gonna take it upon myself to go find him, and stay with him, mostly cause the majority of you are assholes. Blue, Papyrus, feel free to visit me and… what the hell do you think you are doing-”

While you were in the middle of your speech and walking out the door, you were grabbed by Stretch. 

“Dude, lemme go.”

He shakes his skull. 

“nope, blue made dinner for you, you don’t want to let that go to waste now do you?”

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. You definitely do not want to make Blue cry again. 

“Fine.”

Blue and Papyrus give a small cheer while tall edgy and short edgy scoff. 

You end up being sandwiched between Blue and Papyrus, while they both load up your plate with food. 

At least, you think it’s supposed to be food. The tacos look like they were covered in unicorn vomit, and the spaghetti looks burned, somehow. 

You pick at your food, pretending to eat it while Stretch, Sans, Red and the “mutt” look on in amusement. You shoot them a glare. 

“so i neve’ asked doll, how’d ewe get in there?”

“Uh,” you look around at everybody, and it seems like they all want to know the answer. You chuckle and push back your chair. 

“See, my boyfriend, he cheated on me.” You circle around the table to where Red is and pick up the knife on his place setting. 

“So you wanna know what I did?” You ask softly.

You twirl the knife around in your hand while every skull in the room leans in to hear what you have to say. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!” 

You swing the knife downward so it just barely misses Red’s hand and sticks into the table. You double over and start laughing maniacally. 

“ewe didn’ actually do tha’, did ya doll?”

You take a deep breath and straighten up, looking Red dead in his red eye lights. 

“Yep, ya know what the best part is? I did it while it was still in her.” You crack another smile and note with satisfaction (and confusion) how he and several others’ hands went down to cover their crotch.

You skip out of the room and climb up the stairs to your room. Once you close the door behind you, you sink to the ground and start uncontrollably laughing. 

The looks on their faces! You really should have recorded it. You don’t have a phone, you need to fix that. You can ask Axe tomorrow to take you shopping or something. 

Shit, you don’t have money. 

_ Welp, I hope they don’t mind me borrowing their stuff! _

You slid into your queen sized bed. You won’t mind wearing your scrubs again. Besides, they like your smell, for some weird reason. You turn over to your bedside table and you pop your meds in your mouth. 50 grams of Zoloft, 75 grams of Latuda, and one birth control (you take the blue pills consistently to avoid your period, but you still get one every so often).

* * *

  
  


You wake up in the morning. Or at least, you think it’s the morning. 

_ Damn these blackout curtains are good. _

You sit up and reach your arms out to stretch. 

You rub your eyes blurrily and open them, only to find a skeleton sitting in a chair right in front of your bed. 

You shriek. 

“SANS?! What the hell are you doing here?!”

He stands up and walks to the side of your bed. He leans down (he doesn’t have to go very far considering he’s only about 2 inches taller than you) so he’s eye level. 

You realize that he has no eye lights. 

_ Shit, that’s creepy. _

“Alright, what’s up dude.” You refuse to be intimidated. 

“i came up here to warn you, pyxis. you pull anything like you did last night again…”

He pauses for dramatic effect, which you almost snort at. 

**“y o u ‘ r e g o n n a h a v e a b a d t i m e.”**

You roll your eyes at this. 

“You skeletons really don’t get this do you? You don’t scare me. You’re a fucking skeleton for Christ’s sake, a literal halloween decoration with clothes. Do yourself a favor and get out of my room before you embarrass yourself any further.”

He disappears in thin air with a small staticy sound. 

You feel a little guilty for saying that, but this mans literally just invaded your room to threaten you. You just got out of one toxic relationship, you didn’t want to jump back into another only to get walked all over again. 

You straighten out your spine. You place a determined look on your face and get out of bed. You really need to find Axe. 

You walk down the stairs into the kitchen on the first floor. Only a couple of the skeletons were sitting around the dining table. Red was sitting at the end, next to the head of the table. Stretch was sitting near the middle next to Blue, they seemed to be eating… tacos? For breakfast? Whatever. And the dog-like tall one was leaning against the wall smoking what looked like a milk-bone. 

You tried to sneak past them since they all seemed distracted. 

“Where dew ya think yer goin’ doll.”

You roll your eyes and turn around to face Red. 

“Once again, I have a name.”

“naw, brats don’t get names.”

The one leaning against the wall butts into the “conversation”. 

You glare at him. 

“Who the hell you callin’ a brat?”

He smirks and… eats the smoking milk-bone?

You take your index finger and put it under your right eye, pulling downward so your lower eye-lid is pulled down. You stick out your tongue at him. 

You then walk into the kitchen. You’re pretty damn hungry, but you don’t want to just take their food. You opt to walk out the door and into the forest to try to find Axe. He would definitely not let you starve. 

Before you can do that, the stupid “mutt” appears in front of you, scaring the living daylights out of you. 

“Jesus Christ on a bicycle!”

He smirks down at you, he isn’t as tall as Axe, but he’s still pretty damn tall. 

“Get out of my way.”

His smirk grows even wider. Oooh, you really want to punch his smug face. 

You cross your arms when you realize he isn’t going anywhere. 

“Fine, what do you want.”

“m’lord wanted me to watch after you today, make sure you don’t break anything.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. 

“M’lord? Kinky.”

He lets out a low baritone chuckle. 

“I can’t just keep thinking of you as ‘that one dog-skeleton’ you gotta name?”

“Mutt.”

You give a startled chuckle and look at him with amusement. 

“I thought that was a joke?”

“nope.”

You tap your foot. 

“Right, well, I can relieve you of your duties because I’m going to be hanging out with Axe, any idea where he lives?”

Mutt lights another dog treat. 

“can’t let you do that.”

“Well why the hell not?!”

You’re starting to get tired of this guy’s attitude. 

“he’s pretty dangerous, wouldn’t want you getting hurt, now would we.” 

You can hear the threat in his voice. That’s the second time this morning.

You groan and throw up your hands. 

“You suuccckkkk.”

Again, apparently you amuse him, because he chuckles again. 

You turn around and stomp back up the stairs. Looks like you won’t be eating breakfast today. Or changing out of these clothes. You really want to talk to Axe right now. The Mutt fucker is going to give you a lot of trouble. 

* * *

  
  


You spend the next 2 hours in your bed drifting in and out of sleep. You don’t really have much to do. Just because you’re living here, doesn’t mean you have to rely on the other’s support. 

Besides, they weren’t doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, they just did this because you smelled good. 

You stand up, you think the coast is clear. You step out of your room and tip-toe down the stairs. 

You slide on your platforms and quickly dart outside, hoping that nobody saw you. 

You see a path, and you run. You want to get away from the house as fast as possible. Those fuckers can afford to lose you. Besides, you don’t really care if you end up dying or not. It took you a lot quicker to get over life than you expected. 

Right now, all you care about is finding Axe. Since you’ve separated from him, you’ve been having a strange aching sensation in the middle of your chest. For some reason, you think seeing him will make it go away.

You follow the path through the woods. You are careful to look for any traps that may be hazardous to you. 

About 15 minutes down the pathway, you find a cabin. 

It’s old and dilapidated. It looks to have about two floors. It also seems like part of the cabin is sinking into the ground. Vines cover one side of the house, closing up a couple windows. It seems like it’s in need of a good paint job due to the fact that most of the paint is chipping off of the wood. The brick chimney seems to have smoke coming out of it, so this must mean that someone lives here!

_ Success! _

You knock on the door. Hoping to whatever God is out there that Axe is inside and hopefully has some food for you, cause dammit, you shouldn’t have skipped breakfast. 

You hear footsteps behind you. 

You try to turn around to see who it is, but for some reason, you seem to be stuck in place.

_ Shit shit shit shit.  _

You feel a hand on your shoulder.

_ Not this again.  _

“you’re not supposed to be here, brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger. 
> 
> Next chapter update will most likely be on Sunday, but I'm starting to get a little busy. 
> 
> If y'all wanna give me chapter ideas I would love that. I'm already thinking of a halloween chapter to post on halloween, but other than that. 
> 
> Also, I dyed my hair today, so now it looks like a smurf vomited in my hair. Was gonna dye it green originally, but most hair places don't really do green, at least where I'm from. That, and I would look like Jacksepticeye from 2017 if I did that. 
> 
> Also, also, I started a side fan fic called "Fangirl 101" (yes, I am plugging my content), it's about what would happen if monsters entered a world where Undertale already existed.


	9. In Which, We Explore Some POV Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We discover some thoughts our skelebois have about dear reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, instead of my originally planned chapter, someone requested a POV chapter centering around the skelebois reaction of Reader's reason to get sent to the hospital. I thought it was a great idea, however, I had a deadline, so apologies if this chapter seems a bit rushed. 
> 
> With that, enjoy Mutt and several others being fuckin weird.

Blue’s POV:

Blue was definitely excited to see you when he came home from work. After what Stretch, his brother, said about them, oh boy. 

He shivers with excitement. He can’t wait to meet a new friend! (Or potentially more). 

Although, he comes home to see that you were not there, and in fact were completely MIA. Not a single bone knew where you were.

Never mind that! He would distract himself, by preparing the best meal you have ever tasted!

He waited… 

And waited…

And wai-

He heard the back door open. 

You were home!

“HUMAN!”

He ran around a corner only to dive head first into the most delicious scent he’s ever had the pleasure to run into. 

It was like, bay leaves, and eucalyptus, and also a hint of basil. 

The next thing he ran into was a very soft wall, which he promptly knocked over. 

Oh wait, that was you. What did Stretch say your name was again, Pyxis? 

_ Perfect. _

Blue realized that the human was trying to get up. He blushed, he didn’t mean to knock you over like that. But stars, were you soft. He really wanted to-

_ No, no, I must establish a good connection with her, them, first.  _

He shakes off the instincts overwhelming his skull, and leads you into the dining room. 

He can feel your soul start to waver. 

He can also feel the magic of his brother, Red, and Sans go out to try and comfort said soul. Blue grows jealous, he wishes he had that kind of magic. 

You start to leave after being insulted by Black. 

_ Edgy me always ruins everything.  _

Blue can feel himself start to get mad. He never gets mad, but this skeleton just insulted his  ~~mate~~ friend, friend, definitely friend. 

He watches as his brother stops you and tries to get you to sit down. 

_ Thank stars, please stay, stay with us. Stay with  _ **_me_ ** _.  _

He entertains you with his tacos and he can tell that you love them. 

“so i neve’ asked doll, how’d ewe get in there?”

Blue shoots a glare at Red. You don’t need to talk about this if You don’t want to!

But then again, he does want to know. 

He observes you as you get up and walk to Red. Picking up a knife, Blue flinches as you stab in down into the table. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

_ What?  _

  
  


* * *

  
  


Papyrus’s POV:

The human is gone. 

Never mind that! Papyrus will make a meal so great, you’ll never want to leave!

He cooks along with Blue, making his specialty spaghetti. 

You come home. 

Papyrus watches with slight amusement as Blue knocks you over. 

~~He kinda wishes it was him who knocked you over.~~

Papyrus leads you into the dining room where all different versions of himself and his brothers are located. 

He bristles when Edge and Black insult you. 

He also notes with satisfaction how you put the Swapfell brothers in their place. 

_ Good. They needed to be knocked down a few pegs.  _

Papyrus is glad when you decide to stay for dinner, but he was also glad that you invited both him and Blue to visit you while you stayed at the cabin in the woods. 

But that would not do, you needed to stay with them, so you wouldn’t get hurt. 

He watches as you stand up to answer Red’s rude question. 

You didn’t need to answer if you didn’t want to. 

He watches with curiosity when you pick up the knife. 

He jolts in surprise when you stab it down. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF.”

_Well, that's not ideal._

* * *

  
  


Stretch’s POV: 

You were… difficult. 

Instead of being recipient to others and himself, you seemed to be hell bent on being the worst possible potential mate ever. 

You seemed so damn determined. 

Well, it did make sense considering your soul was red, thus indicating a main soul trait of determination. 

Yet that didn’t quite make sense considering you were in a mental hospital. So determined in what aspect?

You were certainly strange. 

He was hoping to come home to you being grateful that he and the others took you in, instead, he was greeted by his panicked brother and Papyrus worried that you were gone forever. 

He had to spend 30 minutes trying to convince the two sensitive skeletons that you were probably fine and just exploring. 

He hears Blue run into the kitchen, signaling that you must be home. 

Finally. 

He observes the conversations that you have with the others. He isn’t that interested. If you are going to be rude to him, he may as well be rude back. 

Although, he does perk up when Red asks his question. 

Normally, he and Red don’t agree on anything, but this question is one he has been curious about for some time. 

He watches as you get up and go to Red. 

He snickers at the shocked look on Red’s face when you swing your knife down ( ~~ but at the same time, it reminds him of something he’d rather forget ). ~~

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

_ Holy shit. _

Red tries to clarify, then you make it worse. He subconsciously covers his pelvis. 

He slightly regrets agreeing to have you live here.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Red’s POV:

To Red, you were fuckin beautiful. Much better than any other bitch he’s slept with. Though that may be the scent thing talking. 

The only problem was, you were kind of a bitch. 

Hell, he loved brat-taming as much as Mutt, but you? Holy hell. 

He was expecting you to be holed up in your room for most of the week, avoiding everyone in the house. 

He had planned to make himself a nuisance, try to get under your skin. But then, he got home from the auto shop he owned to find you missing. 

Of course, Edge didn’t really care. But Red knew that secretly, boss was excited to meet someone who Stretch and Sans had been going on and on about. 

In the underground, Red thought that he would never find someone who could be a potential match. Usually, the more you like the scent, the stronger the match. All of the matches he found before you were weak, and never lasted more than a week before breaking off. 

He knew that scent wasn’t as important to humans as it was to monsters, but damn, one would think that you would at least try to play nice and understand. 

Well, you did play nice, just with the wrong people. And by the wrong people, he means the wrong monsters, AKA Axe, Dust, and Crooks. 

When you finally did come home, you smelled like that psychopath. The one that killed his brother. 

Red bet his non-existent ass that Dust hasn’t told you what he’s done, otherwise, Red’s sure that you wouldn’t be as kind to them. 

Or maybe you just had a death wish. 

Considering you were at a mental hospital, the last option is a complete possibility. Great. 

He watches as you argue with almost everyone in the room before finally consenting to sit down. 

Once again: bitch. 

He watches you with a smirk trying to choke down the “food” that the softer versions of him and his brother have made. 

He starts to think to himself. 

_ Why the hell would they want to hang out with them, and not us. Maybe they can relate to them in some way? Did we ever find out what kind of psycho we just invited into our home? _

Red asks you. 

He expected something like, “Oh, I tried to off myself,” or something along the lines of that. Instead, he watched as you walked over to him and picked up his knife. 

_ heh, watcha gonna do wi’ tha’, sweetart. _

He was definitely not expecting you to slam the pointy end into the wood of the table and inch away from his hand. Needless to say, he jumped a little bit and started to sweat. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

_ hol-ee-shit. _

Red tried to confirm that you didn’t actually do that, but you made things worse. 

_ remind me not to cheat on them when we start dating.  _

* * *

  
  


Edge’s POV:

He was going to go crazy with the amount of conversations that were happening based on you. 

Everything seemed to revolve around you!

He didn’t see why everyone was so obsessed with a psycho in a mental hospital that just so happened to smell good.

At least, that was what he was telling himself. 

Secretly, he wished he were the one that went to visit you instead of his brother. 

Subconsciously (definitely not on purpose!) he got home early, before everyone else so he could properly greet you. Only to find out, you weren’t home. You were gone, and nobody knew where you were. 

Needless to say, Edge sulked in his room. 

When you did finally come home, he was expecting you to immediately be enamored by him. 

He was so upset that you weren’t, he might have said some stuff that could be considered “uncouth” and “rude”. 

If only humans actually listened to their souls!

He watched you with amusement as you put the tiny brat in his place and managed to eat the slop his softer doubles called food. 

He was about to slap his brother on the back of the head for ruining such a domestic moment, but then he realized the question. 

He was curious too. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

He nearly started to laugh. 

_ Of course she would have blood lust! _

You were technically made for each other after all.   
  


* * *

  
  


San’s POV:

_ Well shit.  _

He picked you up from the hospital, only for you to run away a couple hours later. 

Wonderful. Now, you were in a forest, specifically, in a forest where the psychotic versions of himself lived, and he didn’t trust them enough not to kill or maim you in some way or another. 

He really needed some TLC. 

When you did finally come back, he noted that you smelled like Dust. You smelled like him, yet somehow you weren’t dead? How on earth is that possible. 

He was in the dining room with all the other versions of himself and his brother when you walked in, well, when you were dragged in rather. 

He noted with amusement how you treated Black, which, good for you for sticking up for yourself, it’s not cool to mess up someone’s pronouns. Hell, he knows this by how many times he’s accidentally called Frisk a girl. 

He also notes with amusement how much you’re trying to pretend you like Paps’ cooking. 

What he does not like, however, is the fact that you have a knife. 

_ nononono, that’s bad.  _

He starts to have flashbacks, only to get pulled out of his thoughts with you yelling:

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

He gives a startled laugh. 

_ Well, fuck.  _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Mutt’s POV:

He honestly didn’t know what to think when he heard that there was a potential mate coming to live with them, other than: 

_ what the hell is classic thinking? _

He was expecting you to already be corrupted by the softer versions of himself and his brother, and he certainly didn’t think that you would be any more of a potential match than all of the other floozies in the underground. 

What he didn’t expect was you to come waltzing into the dining room in platform boots that could crack his ribs, flaunting one of the most delicious scents he’s ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

His first thought:

_ step on me.  _

His second thought:

_ what are they doing to my brother.  _

While he was lost in his thoughts, he realized that you now had his brother by the collar and were yelling at him. 

He didn’t know if he should be enamored that you were brave enough to do that, or pissed that you were handling his brother in such a way. 

He didn’t get a chance to make up his mind before his bro called him. 

Somehow, he managed to reign in his magic and come over to stop the situation before it went too far and he ended up having to dust a very strong potential match. 

Once that situation was gone and done, he observed you cringing through “dinner”.

He also watched as you drove a knife into the table. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF.”

_ nice.  _

He wanted to see more of that side of you. From then on, he would try to do whatever it takes to get you riled up. 

Luckily for him, that was pretty easy to do. 

* * *

  
  
  


Black’s POV:

_ Oh stars. _

First time he’s ever seen the strongest match he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting, he goes and screws it up with his brash attitude. 

He can’t help it if you look like a girl!

He doesn’t quite understand by what you mean when you say you aren’t a girl. You have breasts, and a very round face, most male monsters don’t choose to have those types of things. 

Sure, he can do whatever he wants when it comes to his body, but he defaults to male. 

It doesn’t quite make sense to him. 

He can tell you’re upset and-

Now he’s being held by you. 

He doesn’t feel comfortable that you are trying to assert your dominance, never mind that, he can correct you later. 

He calls his brother over. 

Of course, like the loyal dog he is, the mutt obeys. 

The issue is sorted out, but you still need to learn your place. 

He watches as the less worthy versions of himself try to feed you.

He gets a swell of jealousy.

He is slightly aware of the question Red asks. He is curious to know the answer. He leans in, and jumps back slightly in surprise when you drive the knife into the table. 

“I CUT HIS DICK OFF!”

He purrs in satisfaction. 

_ Perfect. _

* * *

Axe’s POV:

He knows he’s not allowed to go into the main house. That’s one of the many, many rules Classic put in place to keep him, Dust and Crooks in place, to make sure they don’t… do anything. 

Of course, that doesn’t really stop any of them. You can take the cannibal out of the underground, but you can’t take the underground out of a cannibal. If that makes sense. 

He watches through the window. You look completely enamored with your new room. 

He wants to “short cut” in and bury his skull into your neck. 

Hell, he’s been away from you for only 30 minutes and he already misses you. 

He knows you won’t be as happy with them as you would be with him in the cabin with his brother. 

The others don’t understand you, not like he does. They’re only doing this because you happen to be the strongest potential mate any of them have ever had. 

For the 10th time in the past two days, he wishes that it were just him and his brother, instead of all the other, weaker, copies. 

His hand reaches up to scratch the inside of his skull. 

He takes 1 last look at you and teleports away to the cabin. 

Crooks is home making dinner. 

After hugging his brother and announcing his presence home from the hospital, he “short cuts” into his room to get some shut eye. 

When he wakes up, he has a terrible tugging sensation on his chest. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so, I usually update about twice a week, but I have some other writing projects that I want to start working on.   
> In addition to my other story, I was thinking about posting an original work, if any of you would be interested in it. 
> 
> It's called the Bubble Gum Troop, and it basically centers around a character who can control time and space (since I love the whole concept of time and shit like that), but they are kinda a chaotic evil, considering they've given up using their powers for good. 
> 
> I love to hear your guy's feedback! And feel free to tell me about any works y'all have done, or any of your fav fanfics. I'm running out of stuff to read.


	10. In Which, You Run Away From Your Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Undyne and Alphys. You also have a chat with the bois which ends up with you getting kidnapped by Axe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, a brief note on this chapter. Undyne is a cop, and since I myself am pretty wary of them, this reflects some of my views, if this offends you in any way, I am sorry, but note that ACAB is a part of alternative culture and Pyxis is alternative. 
> 
> With that being said, it is only a small portion of the chapter and it shouldn't be anywhere else in the story.

You groan. You recognize that voice. 

You brush the hand off your shoulder. 

“Mutt, for the last Goddamn time, leave me the fuck alone.”

He made a growling noise in the back of his throat. 

“an’ i thought i told you, brat, it’s dangerous out here.”

“Whatever asshole.”

You turn around and walk past him, making sure to shoulder check him. It ended up hurting you more than it did him. 

“bitch.” He called after you.

“Dickbag!”

He chuckles and appears beside you. Barely having to spare an effort to keep in time with your fast pace due to his long legs. 

He snaps his fingers. “right, i need to tell you, i usually don’t do favors, but the kid said he would owe me one. basically, he wants you back to the house for lunch, undyne is coming over for training.”

“We live with a kid?”

He chuckles. “nope, just a grown-ass monster who acts like one.”

He then leans down and whispers into your ear, “but i’ve seen some shit in his room that would drive you wild.”

You push Mutt away. 

“Ha, no thanks. I’m not planning on losing my virginity to a bunch of skeletons.”

Mutt raises an eyebrow at you. 

You cover your mouth when you realize what you just said. 

You really did not want to tell him that. 

“yer a virgin, darlin’?”

He snickers. 

“yer gonna be so fun to **b r e a k** .”

You feel a shock go through you. 

_ What the fuck was that? _

_ Why am I warm? _

_ Fuck, that’s not a good sensation. _

You feel something trail up the back of your neck. 

When you turn around to tell Mutt to knock-it-off, he wasn’t there. 

You shiver and walk back to the house.

* * *

  
  


You enter through the back door connected to the kitchen. You walk in just in time to see Papyrus dump a whole jar of glitter into a pot on the stove. 

“Hey Paps, whatcha makin.”

He turns around and gives you a bright smile. 

“OH HUMAN! UNDYNE AND I ARE MAKING LUNCH. BLUE SHOULD BE IN THE OTHER ROOM WITH ALPHYS.”

You scrunch your face up. 

“Who?”

“UNDYNE! MY MENTOR, AND ALPHYS! HER GIRLFRIEND!”

_ Ah fuck yea.  _

You would love some fellow gay friends. Especially lesbians. Lesbians are adorable. 

A blue lady comes into the kitchen. On closer inspection, she seems to be a humanoid fish, with fins for ears and sharp yellow teeth. She’s got gorgeous red hair that’s swept back in a ponytail. As of right now, she is wearing a tank top that shows off her side gills, skinny jeans, and red boots that look like Papyrus’s. 

“Human!”

She runs toward you, you give a squeak of surprise and lift your arms up to protect your face. 

She… hugs you?

“Fuck! I’m so glad these boneheads took you in!”

You are currently being squished by fish boobs. What a day. 

“Uh, do I know you?”

She lets you down and throws back her head to laugh. 

“Fuhuhu, I guess you were pretty out of it when we picked you up.”

You look at her, then at her arms.

_ Those arms do look familiar.  _

You snap your fingers in recognition. 

“You’re the cop that picked me up and put me on the stretcher!”

She grins down at you.

“The one and only!”

_ Oh! Oh, she’s a cop.  _

Besides Undyne, the last cop you interacted with nearly beat you to death because you were running from them. You’ve always been wary of cops. They had guns on them, and guns kill people. In your mind, there have been way too many bad cops out there, and it seemed like the justice system wasn’t doing anything about it. 

You back away from Undyne slowly. You know you don’t know her, but still…

Undyne looks at you curiously when she notices you are backing away. 

“Hey human? You look like something’s behind me, you good punk?”

You take a deep breath. 

“You’re not like... a bad cop, are you?”

A brief flash of hurt flashes across Undynes face. 

“I’m sorry, I just have a really bad experience with the police… it’s not your fault, i’m sure you’re a lovely person, I just…” you scuff your foot on the ground. 

“Naw, I get it punk. A lot of us suck.”

You nod your head. 

Papyrus clears his throat (how are these skeletons making these noises?).

“HUMAN PYXIS, I THINK YOU SHOULD MEET ALPHYS, SHE IS IN THE OTHER ROOM. NOW GO.”

You attempt to chuckle, and leave the kitchen to move into the dining room. 

Blue is currently sitting with a yellow dinosaur with glasses. 

_ She’s fuckin’ adorable. _

“Hi.”

She gives a squeak and turns around in her chair. Blue looks up for a junior jumble puzzle and smiles at you with stars in his sockets. 

“HUMAN! MEET THE WONDERFUL SCIENTIST, ALPHYS!”

“Alphys” blushes at this.

“T-thanks B-blue, but I’m re-really not that special.”

You sit down next to Alphys. After what you heard from Mutt this morning about Blue, you’re not quite certain if he really is the innocent little blueberry muffin you thought he was, and you don’t want to take any risks. 

“So you’re a scientist?”

Alphys shrugs. 

“Y-yea.”

You don’t really know what else to say. 

“Got any hobbies?”

“N-not really.”

You both wait in silence for a few moments. 

“O-oh, but I do like a-a-anime!”

You smile. You haven’t watched anime since you were in high school. 

“D-do you like a-anime?”

You run a hand through your hair. 

“Does Pokemon count?”

Alphys looks disappointed. 

“Y-you know, I think I ha-have some disks in my bag.”

_ Ah hell yea! Anime binge watching night, here I come! _

Alphys rummages around in the bag sitting next to her feet. She pulls out a couple of DVD cases. 

She shoves them in your hands. 

“H-here. D-do you may-maybe want my number s-so we can chat after you f-finish watching all of them?”

You make a noise. 

“I actually, do not have a phone.”

Alphys makes a gasping noise and covers her hands with her mouth. 

“W-well, we ha-have to fix that!”

She runs out of the room and off to who-knows-where. The house is suddenly filled with a bunch of construction noises like… hammering? And at one point you are almost certain you hear a chainsaw being revved. 

She comes back with something in her hands. 

“Ta-da! Y-your very own mobile phone!”

She hands it to you. 

“Dude! Thank you so much!”

“I-i’ve taken the chance to sign you up for-for the #1 monster social media! N-now we are officially friends!”

“Sick.”

You hold up your fist for a fist bump and Alphys happily reciprocates. This leads to Blue wanting one too. You end up needed to cradle your hand due to the amount of force he put behind it. You need to remind yourself not to try to play bloody-knuckles with any of the skeles in the future. 

* * *

  
  


Lunch passes by smoothly, with you only needing to excuse yourself to throw up the disaster Papyrus calls “food”, twice. 

Undyne takes Papyrus and Blue to the backyard to spar and do “training” (whatever that entails) while you and Alphys start watching anime. 

Once you get to the bottom two disks, Alphys blushes and tells you to wait until you’re alone to watch them. 

_ Alright, that’s kinda sus, but sure.  _

* * *

  
  


Before long, Alphys and Undyne need to leave since Undyne has a night shift. You exchange numbers with the both of them. 

You put Undyne in your contacts as “not-so-evil-police-officer” and Alphys is put as “the-pervy-dino”. 

You call Alphys this because while you both were watching anime, you caught her drawing one of the characters naked. 

  
  
  


It’s about 5:30, and all the skeles are home. Right now, you are up in your room, scrolling through social media in order to make your feed just right. You don’t want any weird shit popping up. 

You were also texting Blue, since once he found out you had a phone, he requested to be “phone besties” he was too cute to say no. 

Hopefully you could meet up with Axe sometime soon. A) because the aching in your chest did not seem to want to go away, and B) you wanted to ask if you could live with him instead of the 6 assholes who lived here. 

**Taco_boi:** PYXIS, I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY GIVEN OUT YOUR PHONE NUMBER. 

**You:** Who did you give it out to…

**Taco_boi:** EVERYONE.

You are suddenly swamped with a shit ton of texts. 

**Unknown:** HUMAN! I’M GLAD TO SEE YOU HAVE A PHONE NOW! DINNER WILL BE IN 10!

You assume that’s Papyrus. You input him into your phone as “Creampuff”.

You scroll to the next message. 

**Unknown:** I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE NOT DOWN HERE WITH THE REST OF US! ACTUALLY, WAIT NO, STAY UP THERE, PSYCHOPATHS DON’T GET TO EAT.

You assume that’s tall edgy (you still don’t know his name) to you input his name as “Edgelord”.

Your last message isn’t typed in all caps, and you don’t know if it’s from Stretch or Sans.

**Unknown:** come downstairs, we all need to have a chat. 

_ Well that isn’t ominous.  _

You sigh. If you want to find out who sent you this, you might as well go downstairs and see. 

You exit your room and slowly decline on the stairs. 

You find everyone in the second story living room. 

“Hey.”

The eight skeletons turn to look at you. 

“Where’s Axe?”

Blue speaks up, “USUALLY WE DO NOT HAVE THEM IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH US, THEY ARE VERY DANGEROUS.”

You snort. 

“Dangerous, my ass.”

Both Papyrus and Blue gasp.

“LANGUAGE.”

You notice tall edgy roll his red eyelights. 

“you should probably sit.”

You shake your head. 

“Naw dude, I’ll stand up, after all, you did threaten me this morning. Not sure I feel safe sitting next to you.” You complete your sentence with a smug smirk. 

Sans throws his hands up in the air. 

“fine, whatever, you do what you want.”

You get satisfaction with his annoyance in you. 

“Well, what do you want, you pulled me down here for a reason, correct?”

“we need to set some ground rules. also, some of us have questions.”

You groan. 

“Fine, but make it quick.”

He nods and takes his phone out of his pocket to pull up what you assume are “the rules”.

“number one, we all share them, and only they get to decide wh-”

“Wait hang on, you share me? What am I, some sort of toy?”

“who they hang out with,” Sans finishes, completely ignoring you, “number 2, this is for pyxis, no dating outside of the family.”

“EXCUSE ME?! I can date whoever the fuck I want you possessive piece of shit!”

He smirks at this and continues, “number 3, no going outside of the house, including the forest, without being accompanied by one of us.”

“I AM NOT A HOUSEWIFE.”

“naw dollface, that would imply yer a prude.”

You groan and put your face in your hands. 

“1, who the fuck said you could police me, imma free man, I can do whatever the fuck I feel like doing. 2, where do you get off on telling me what I can and what I can’t do. Is this payback for calling you a halloween decoration? 3, stop fucking telling me I can’t see Axe, I really want to see him and I feel like if I don’t sometime soon my heart is gonna explode right outta my chest because it really fucking hurts ma-”

“yer chest ‘urts?”

You look at Red quizzically.

“Yes?”

“well shit.”

“PAPS! LANGUAGE!”

You turn to Stretch. 

“So what the hell does that mean then.”

Sans speaks instead, “we were hoping that you both haven’t spent enough time together for a bond to occur, but it seems that one has.”

You take your head in your hands and start massaging your temples. 

“OK, OK, I am currently in a room full of skeletons, two of which I don’t know the names of, and now they’re telling me I have a bond with a cannibal. What the fuck is a bond, like mentally? If so why-the-fuck-does-my-head-hurt. Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhy-”

“whoa, ok, calm down.”

You thump your head on the heel of your hand, not listening at all to the voices around you. 

“WHAT’S HAPPENING TO HER?”

“them bro, they’re a them.”

“OBVIOUSLY, YOU MORONS DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THE FACT THE FACT THAT SHE ACTS LIKE ONE  _ THEM _ WHEN YOU INVITED  _ HER _ IN HERE.”

“them, boss, them.”

“DO NOT TEST ME SA-RED!”

All of a sudden, it all goes away. The aching in your chest releases it’s hold on you. 

You feel someone wrap their arms around you. 

_ Thank fuck, please get me out of here. _

“... i got you.”

_ Oh, I said that outloud.  _

You feel a falling sensation. You kinda need to throw up. 

Cross that, you really need to throw up. 

You lean over, away from whoever is holding you and vomit. You didn’t have much to eat today, so it was more dry heaving than actual vomiting. 

Someone is holding back your hair. Your back is being rubbed. You hear 2 different voices talking in the background. 

“what the hell did they do ta bunny.”

“... not sure.”

“of fucking course they would somehow mess this up.”

You want to be closer to them. 

You hold out your arms. All you can see are fuzzy shapes. Tall fuzzy shapes. And red? 

_ Please don’t leave me. _

Something or someone picks you up. 

You feel your hair being stuck to your spit stained lips. You hate that your hair is so long. You want to chop it off. 

“... S-scissors.”

“hell no, you ain’t cutting yourself.”

You shake your head weakly. You pick up a clump of your hair and make a snipping motion with your fingers. 

“... later.”

This is a good enough answer for you. 

You pass out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I really love this story, but I am shit at naming contacts, so if anyone's got like a cute contact name for any of the bois, please tell me. 
> 
> Also, a new chapter of "Fangirl 101" should be coming out sometime within the next week, and depending on how fast I work, the next chapter of this story should be anywhere between the next 4-8 days. 
> 
> Also, I fuckin love your guys' comments on last chapter, I didn't mean to make Red that much of an asshole, but yes, I did mean to make Stretch that much of an asshole. Black is an asshole no matter what way you write him.


	11. In Which, You Go Shopping With Two Mass Murderers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You cut your hair and go shopping with the two skeletons that seem least likely to shop with you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT! I'm back baby! I've had kinda a shitty week so that's my excuse for updating later than I usually do. Sorry about that. 
> 
> A couple notes:   
> 1\. I realized that I accidentally added the tag sans/papyrus. Note that there will be NO INCEST. Mostly cause I feel uncomfy writing that kind of stuff and if my sister ever reads it, she would be extremely concerned and i don wanna explain to her my reasoning, mostly cause there isn't any. The reader will occasionally ship some of the papyruses together, or the sans (mostly just ships that i like), but I haven't fully decided if I want any of them in relationships. 
> 
> 2\. There is a slight warning at the beginning of the chapter for sad thoughts. They aren't that bad, mostly just wishing to be dead, but they are there. 
> 
> 3\. because i had extra time on my hands, this is a slightly longer chapter, and it also explains a little more about reader's gender identity (which is basically the way I feel, once again, this is a self-indulgent fic).

Ah, waking up. The joys of waking up. You seem to be doing that a lot lately. You kinda want to stop.

But here you are, awake. Sitting on... a couch. Whose couch? You have no idea. Including your bad habit of waking up, you also seem to be in the habit of forgetting what caused you to sleep in the first place. 

And you have the overwhelming urge to cut your hair. 

You sit up and look around. You are currently on a sofa in the middle of what looks like a living room, but not like any of the ones in the house. 

You can see a small kitchen attached to it through an archway, complete with a small dining table with four chairs around it. 

You walk into the kitchen.

_ Holy Hell that’s a lot of knives.  _

_ And meat, don’t forget the meat.  _

Blood stains the cabinets and the counters, slabs of meat are sitting on the counter, some aren’t even skinned, and you can’t tell what animal any of them are from, except for the dead rabbit. There are knives sticking out of the wood countertop, the dining table, the cabinets. 

_ Score! _

You find a pair of scissors. 

You walk out of the kitchen and wander around the bottom floor a little bit. You see stairs to a second floor, but you assume that leads to whoever owns this house, and judging by the amount of unidentified raw meat in the kitchen, you don’t really want to find out. 

You find an unopened door, and like the dumbass you are, you open it. 

It’s just a bathroom. 

A quite cheery bathroom actually. Rubber ducky wallpaper, and shower/bath combo with a turquoise curtain. You see a mirror, it’s slightly dirty, but it will work. You take one of the hand towels and drape it around your shoulders. You take a deep breath. 

* _ Snip* _

_ *Snip* _

Clumps of brown fall from your head as you continue your attack on your once shoulder length hair. 

_ A snip here. A couple snips there. This needs to be shorter. It would be better if I had a razor of some sort.  _

You look in the mirror and run a hand through your now cropped hairstyle. You give a little tousle to get all of the remaining hair fragments out. 

_ Perfect.  _

Someone starts banging on the door. 

“I’ll be out in a minute!”

The banging gets louder. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, calm your tits!”

The banging stops and Axe appears right next to you. 

“DUDE! What the hell! You can’t just-”

He snatchs the scissors away from you. You notice that he’s muttering to himself. You can’t really catch what he’s saying, only bits and pieces. 

“... shoulda locked the knives…. did they hurt themselves? check…. arm….”

You reach up and tug his hand down from his dead eye socket. 

_ Huh, we both have similar grounding techniques. Granted, not very healthy ones, but still. _

“Dude, I’m okay, I was just cutting my hair.”

His once shrunken eye socket expands as he takes in your new do. 

He puts his hand down on your head and runs his phalanges through it. You feel the scrap of his claws against your scalp and you can’t help but to lean into it. 

_ Jesus fuck. What the hell is wrong with me.  _

You both stay like this for a solid 5 minutes before Dust bursts in through the door. 

“the hell did you do.”

You raise your hand to your head and fluff up your hair. 

“I cut it! You like it.”

“i never said that.”

You shrug. “Suit yourself, Dusty.”

“don’t call me that.”

You giggle and walk past him out of the bathroom. 

You plop down on the couch and pull your legs up so you are sitting criss-cross-applesauce. 

Both Axe and Dust stand in front of you, you smile up at them deliriously. You have no idea where this mood swing came from, but you’re kinda loving it. 

In your slightly warped state, you manage to realize that Axe had changed out of his scrubs. 

“Ahhh mannn, now we don’t match.”

Dust chuckles at your slightly child-like state. 

“have you been wearing the same thing for the past 2 days?”

You smile brightly at him. 

“Yep!”

“why?”

You gesture for him to come closer, he sighs and humors you. 

“Cause all my other clothes are still covered with my boyfriends blood ~”

He pulls back and looks at Axe. 

“What did you say they got in the hospital for?”

Axe shrugs. 

“They never told me.”

Dust turns back to you. 

“did you kill your boyfriend?”

You giggle slightly manically. 

“Nope!”

“thank god-”

“But I did cut his dick off!”

Dust inhales sharply. 

Dust and Axe stare at you for a solid 5 seconds before both dissolve into laughter. 

You still don’t quite understand what is going on, but you don’t want to be left out, so you giggle along with them. 

This causes them to laugh harder. Both Dust and Axe are currently bent over, holding their non-existent stomachs. You see Dust wipe purple tears from his sockets. 

You like the way their laughs sound. To anyone else, and if you were in any other mood, you would have thought you would die. Now, it sounds like the best dang thing in the whole world. 

_ Why am I acting like this.  _

You shake your head in an attempt to get rid of the mood swing. 

“come on bunny, let's get you into a shower.”

In your state of mind right now, you are too tired/delirious to respond. You lift your arms up like a toddler that wants to be held and Dust picks you up bridal style. 

_ Why am I being so compliant? _

You can’t bring yourself to really care about keeping your appearance up. 

He tosses you into the bath/shower unceremoniously and turns the water on. 

_ Jesus fuck it’s cold.  _

Dust laughs at your sorry state. 

Right, you forgot, he isn’t a good person. Great.

You are still in your scrubs. At least he didn’t take those off. If he tried, you probably wouldn’t have stopped him due to your state. Although the shock of the cold water was starting to bring you back into a more sane part of your brain. 

You hear the bathroom door close, and you take it as a go-ahead to peel off your clothes. You toss the wet paper pants and the cotton shirt onto the bathroom floor with a  _ smack _ . 

There’s no shampoo (of course there isn't, they're literal skeletons, they don’t have hair), so you just settle for letting the water wash your hair. You manage to make do with the small sliver of soap left in the shower. You stand under the water for a couple of minutes after you are done actually showering. The water has warmed up and at this point, you really don’t want to go out and face the multiple skeletons that are no doubt waiting for you. 

You step out of the shower and onto the bathmat, wrapping one of the towels on the counter around you. You notice a pile of clothes on the floor that were definitely not there when you were dropped into the shower. 

You rummage through the clothes to see that absolutely all items of clothing are way too big for you. Your bra and underwear was wet due to Dust not giving you a chance to undress before pushing you into the shower, so it looks like you will be going commando. Great. Now you’ll need to constantly walk around with your arm under your chest because without a bra, those things hurt just bouncing around. 

You chuckle to yourself. If it was a woman, chances are they would kill to have the junk that you have, but, you are not a woman. It’s not to say you hate them. You just would prefer them not to be there. It seems to be more of a hassle to have them than to not have them.

You slip on the basketball shorts and the t-shirt. The shorts go down to your calves and the shirt looks like a dress on you. You contemplate yourself in the mirror, then tuck the shirt into the shorts and roll the bottom of the shorts up a little. 

_ There, now I don’t look like a blob.  _

You tousle your hair a little bit to give it that just-rolled-out-of-bed look. 

You make a face in the mirror and step outside. 

You move towards the living room where you find both Dust and Axe sitting on the couch. 

“Well, how do I look.”

They turn to look at you and you pose dramatically, causing Dust to snort. 

You walk towards the other side of the couch and flop between them. They appear to be watching some sort of drama, the main star seems to be a robot. Cool. 

“Hey, did I by any chance happen to bring my phone with me?”

Axe nods and points his thumb towards a charger with your phone attached to it. 

You cross the room, pick up your phone and sit back down in your comfy spot. 

You open your phone to see a shit-ton of notifications. 

**Unknown:** sorry 

_ Whoever sent that doesn’t seem very sorry.  _

You scroll to the next one. 

**Taco_boi:** ARE YOU ALRIGHT HUMAN?

**Taco_boi:** YOU JUST DISAPPEARED WITH AXE

**Taco_boi:** PAPYRUS AND I HAD A TALK WITH SANS ABOUT HIS RULES SINCE THEY SEEMED TO UPSET YOU.

You smile at this. Blue was way too god-damn sweet for the world.

**Unknown:** you alright darlin?

**Unknown:** m’lord wants to know where you are. 

**Unknown:** we weren’t kidding about axe and dust being dangerous. be careful with those 2.

You assume that this was Mutt, considering that literally no one else in the house talked like this. 

You add him in your contacts as “Dog_boi”, cause damn, you’re uncreative. 

You see you have some other text messages, but you decide you had enough. You don’t really want to talk to anybody from that house, so being the petty human you were, you left them all on read. 

You toss your phone on the coffee table and lean back into Axe. He happily wraps an arm around you and Dust scoffs at this. 

You poke Axe in the arm. 

“hmm…” he makes a noise of acknowledgement. 

“Uh, so, I don’t know if y’all noticed, but I need clothes.”

“you have clothes.”

You roll your eyes. 

“I mean clothes that actually fit me. I don’t want to be walking around in your stuff forever!”

“i don’t mind.”

You groan. 

“Of course you fuckin’ don’t.”

You wrack your brain to try and think of stuff to get them to take you. 

“How about this. You can pick out up to 5 items of my new clothes.”

Axe looks down at you from your position on the couch. 

“anything i want? and you have to get them?”

You shrug. 

“Well, we need to go to the bank first so I can actually get stuff-”

“deal.”

You sigh. 

Dust chuckles. 

“you really gonna go through with that bunny? anything he wants?”

You nod. 

“If he’s taking me, might as well give him something worth his time right?”

Dust looks at Axe with a whole new form of serious on his face (which is kind of hard to picture on a skeleton).

“mind if i get in on that deal.”

You groan. 

_ What the hell have I gotten myself into by allowing 2 horny-ass skeletons dress me.  _

* * *

  
  


The three of you step into the double doors of the mall. You all make an odd pair, two dysfunctional skeletons and one human who looks to be swimming in oversized clothing with no bra. 

You make a bee-line to Hot Topic, because you were you. 

You walk into the dimly lit store and the girl at the cash register smiles and says hello. 

You wave back, because, who are you to deny the adorable people who work at Hot Topic. In your mind, the most friendly people are the people who work there, always laughing and complimenting people. You wanted to work there when you were a teen, but didn’t get the chance once you started dating  _ him _ . 

You walk to the back section of the store where all the clearance items are. You busy yourself looking through the racks of unwanted clothing. You feel a presence behind you. You turn around to find Axe _ literally standing right behind you, breathing down your fucking neck _ . 

“Hi?”

He wraps his arms around your stomach and drags you close to him and you give a small ‘eep’ in response. 

“Do you need something?”

He hums in response and shifts his skull into the crook of your neck and takes a not-so-subtle inhale. 

_ Fuck. These dudes are gonna be the death of me.  _

You try to ignore him and go back to rifling through shirts. 

You pull out an oversized t-shirt with the boogeyman from  _ A Nightmare Before Christmas _ and hold it up to Dust, who is currently looking through the sweatshirts. 

“i thought you wanted to get out of the oversized clothes.”

You roll your eyes. 

“I said I want to get out of  _ your  _ oversized clothes.”

He goes back to looking and you take that as a yes to the shirt. 

After a couple of minutes of silence between the three of you, with Axe still clinging onto your back like a koala, Dust speaks up. 

“you good with wearing female stuff?”

You nod. 

“But it depends on the day and my mood, some days i’ll wear a crop top and a skirt, and then randomly change to cargo pants and a sweatshirt in the middle of the day. Although, I was kinda forced to wear feminine stuff with… him.”

Dust looks up at you. 

You expect him to say something comforting. 

“i should kill him.”

You burst out into startled laughter. 

You forgot who you were talking to. 

_ A dude who literally admitted to wanting to kill you.  _

“Why would you waste the effort? Especially on lil’ ol me?”

You look up at him and bat your eyelashes. 

He snorts and goes back to rifling through clothes.

“you smell good.”

You respond sarcastically: “Really, I haven’t noticed.”

Dust looks up and raises a bone brow at you. You give him an innocent smile in response. 

You get a couple of shirts, a skater skirt, two sweatshirts, and some jewelry at Hot Topic before heading to the check out. 

You end up throwing a bottle of green hair dye and bleach onto the pile. Axe picks up the bottle of hair dye and examines it. 

“why green?”

“It’s my favorite color.”

Dust grunts and throws a bottle of purple dye into the mix. You look up at him with a curious look. He ignores it. 

You all exit the Hot Topic and start looking around for another store. You end up dragging them to Forever 21, they have cheap pants. 

You try to draw the line at an incredible short crop top that would most definitely show off underboob without a bra, but Axe seems to have made up his mind. 

He can buy it, but he can’t force you to wear it. 

You get several pairs of ripped jeans and ripped cargo pants. Green being a recurring theme in your clothes. 

After spending 30 minutes in the dressing rooms with Dust throwing a shit-ton of dresses at you (which are a complete no-no in your book, you think you don’t have the right curves), Axe gets hungry. 

Dust finally relents and allows you to leave. 

Entering the food court, the three of you get some weird stares. You can’t help your anxiety peaking a little bit. Somehow, the boys on either side of you, notice this and put their hands on your shoulders. 

_ Awww, so they do care.  _

Axe makes his way to a burger place. You and Dust sit down at a table that has conveniently been opened when the past inhabitants saw you coming. 

_ Racist bigots.  _

Axe comes up from behind you and sets a tray on the table. 

_ Shit, that’s a lot of food.  _

Axe did eat a lot in the hospital and he only stopped when the nurses told him to stop. But this was, this was three times as much as what he ate in the hospital. You hoped to God that he wasn’t expecting you to help much with this. 

Dust rolls his eyelights when he sees the amount of food Axe has gotten. 

“pig.” 

Axe ignores him and goes about distributing food, leaving about ⅔ of the mountain for himself. 

You’re still wondering how he is going to manage to eat all of that. 

You don’t wonder for long, considering that he is finished within 5 minutes. 

He’s got burger sauce all around his teeth. 

“Need some help there, kiddo?”

Axe growls at you and you snicker in response. 

You hand him a napkin. 

* * *

  
  


Lunch passes by with only a couple people staring at you all rudely. 

Then comes the dreaded shop that you knew you would need eventually. 

“Hey dudes, dudes, how about… we just go to target and I get a package of cheap stuff instead of us having to handpick them!”

Dust looks down at you and smirks. 

“I mean like, I wear both boxers and girl underwear, but we can honestly get them at Target! Come on guyssssss….”

They drag you into the dreaded store. 

You groan in defeat and try to stray as far away from the two psychotic underwear shopping skeletons as possible. 

You busy yourself looking through the boyshorts and sports bras (you’ve been going all day without a bra, which is extremely gutsy for you considering you’re in public, and it’s starting to hurt). 

You eventually have to find the two skeletons some time if you actually want to get any of this stuff and not live on whatever the hell they're gonna try to get you. 

You wander off into the store to find them in the… sock section? 

_ Huh, that’s surprising.  _

Axe appears to be drooling. 

Why? You have no idea. 

You approach them. 

“Y’all shopping for yourselves?” 

You let out a slight snicker when Dust glares at you. 

“I for one think those,” you point at a pair of black lacy knee-socks, “would look nice on you. Don’t you think so Axe?”

Axe blushes. 

“HOLY SHIT NO WAY, ARE Y’ALL DATING?! Please say yes, please say yes, please say ye-”

Dust covers your mouth, he’s got a furious purple blush covering his cheek bones and over his nasal ridge. 

“no we aren’t dating,” he hisses at you. 

You giggle and he releases your mouth. 

“Okkkkk∼”

Dust sighs in relief. 

“Axe and Duuuust sittin’ in a tree. F-U-C-K-I-N-”

Dust cuts you off again covering your mouth. 

“Wait, aren’t you guys cousins or something like that, HOLY SHIT IM SO SORRY OH MY LORD!”

“we’re not cousins.”

“I thought you were related?”

Both Axe and Dust shift on their feet.

“it’s complicated.”

* * *

  
  


After a few more minutes of teasing the two skeletons, you finally relent and you all go to the checkout line. 

It was interesting, waiting in line with two skeletons at a underwear store filled with straight women and their boyfriends. 

You nearly started laughing when one woman asked what purpose they had shopping with you because they quote/unquote literal skeletons. 

The way Axe looked so miffed. 

* * *

  
  


When you all get back to the little dilapidated cabin in the woods, you find some unexpected visitors. 

_ Great, the Holy Brigade of Assholes is here.  _

Stretch and Sans are waiting by the front door. Sans has his hands in his pockets and is looking at you with a very disappointed-parent look on his face. Stretch is leaning up against the side of the door and is smoking. You would be considering why the smoke isn’t coming out of his eye-sockets if he didn’t look like he wanted to murder someone. 

“Hi?” You wave tentatively.

Stretch and Sans push off from the wall they were leaning up against and walk towards you. 

“c’mon honey, we need to talk.”

You scoff, “Yea, look where that ended up last time you offered to ‘talk’.”

“maybe if you didn’t fuckin’ run from us every chance you go-”

“HEY! I was exploring and just happened to get lost! That wasn’t running away! Besides, with the way y’all douchebags treat me, I don’t think you’re entitled to anything, let alone a talk.” 

Stretch started to say something else but Sans quieted him. 

“you’re right, we shoulda thought about you, which is why we need to have a talk.”

You sigh.    
  


“Sure whatever, but I wanna bring these two.” You gesture to Axe and Dust with your thumbs. 

“fine.”

“Fine!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if it's not obvious, I think the Axe/Dust ship is kinda cute, mostly cause there is a comic I saw of them flirting and Nightmare getting really pissy about it. Also, I find Axe as a bottom hilarious for some reason. 
> 
> ANYWAYS! Hope you guys have a good rest of the week, and hopefully everyone is getting ready for Halloween! I have a halloween chapter planned out, but due to my schedule, it probably won't be posted on halloween. Sorry to disappoint.
> 
> As always, feel free to leave constructive criticism or ideas in the comments, you guys crack me up.


	12. In Which, You Have A Talk With Some Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk with the boys, have a talk with Mutt, and get chased through the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, not much warnings for this chapter. Mostly just the boys being the boys. Red and Mutt wouldn't be their complete selves without some perve-ness, and Axe wouldn't be Axe without being a creepy boi. Also, I've been inhaling a lot of Horrortale and Dusttale content so I can really nail the characters, mostly cause the edgy boys are going to be our main focus, spoiler alert, but that was kinda obvious.

You really do not like confrontation. 

If you could be perfectly honest with yourself, all you wanted to do right now was go to your room and self-isolate for a few days with all the curtains drawn and a phone charger at the ready. 

So the fact that you actually agreed to have a chat with 11 different skeletons was beyond you. 

Currently, you are being led back to the house by Sans, and Stretch, with Stretch occasionally looking behind him to make sure you haven’t gone off anywhere. 

If it weren’t for the fact that you had two massive skeletons behind you, one a cannibal, and one who wanted to kill you, then you definitely would have run off into the woods by now. 

The only way you could get out of this conversation is if you had, or faked a mental breakdown, however, if you used that card too many times, then it would start to get old, that, and it’s not cool to fake mental breakdowns. 

_ Out of all the fuckin’ people in the world, how the hell did I end up living with a shit-ton of skeletons.  _

You run a hand through your now cropped hair. 

You didn’t get a chance to change when you got back, so you are still wearing Axe’s clothes. 

The five of you clomp through the woods for what seems like a long time, really, it’s mostly because no one is talking except for Dust occasionally muttering to himself and the area around him. 

After what seems like 30 minutes, which was really only 10, the house comes into view, and you can see Blue at the back window with his face pressed up against the glass. 

He runs away from the window when he sees the four skeletons and you exit the woods, probably to go and gather everyone. 

_ Let’s get this over with.  _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Everyone, including Crooks, Axe and Dust are gathered into the second story family room. 

You opt to sit between Axe and Crooks, but as soon as you sit down, Crooks picks you up and sits you on his bony lap, only to get a small glare from his brother. 

You roll your eyes at this interaction and stare up at the ceiling. 

Sans comes and stands in front of you. 

“What’s up, Doc.”

“do you wanna start, or should i start.”

You grin at him. 

“Oh-ho-ho! I get privileges now! How considerate of you.”

You hear someone mutter “brat” under their breath. 

“Fine, yes, I’ll start.”

You tap your index finger on your chin as a mock gesture of thinking. 

“Where to begin….”

“I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DON’T CONSIDER YOURSELF A GIRL EVEN WHEN YOU-”

“Don’t finish that sentence buddy.”

“BUT-”

You hold up your hand to shush Black. 

“It goes a little something like this. I… am nonbinary. This means I do not have a gender and my pronouns are they/them.”

“I THOUGHT IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HUMANS NOT TO NOT BE BORN WITH REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS!”

“Sex and gender ain’t the same thing, dude.”

“so ye’ve got tits, that mean you gotta-”

“I’m not gonna answer that question because what’s in my pants is nobody’s business except for me and whoever I’m planning on having sex with. And as of right now, literally, none of you meet that requirement.”

Under your breath you add, “Even if you did, not sure you would even be able to do something like that.”

“what was that?”

“Nothinngggg∼”

Sans rolls his eyes. 

“I’VE GOT A QUESTION!”

“Yes Blue?”

“HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT WE CAN CALL YOU AND WHAT WE CAN’T?”

“Honestly, I’m ok with most things, not too fond of pet names, but as long as you don’t call me something overly girly, then I’m ok.”

Blue nods his head in understanding. 

“is that it?”

“Nope, don’t go into my room without me knowing, and don’t go through my phone, or I will personally shove my combat boots up your pelvis.”

“you promise∼”

You turn and look at Mutt just as the short edgy one smacks him on the back of the head. 

“Whatever dude. Speaking of which, I don’t know who you,” you point to short edgy, “or you are” you point to tall edgy. 

“the shorter one is black, the taller one is edge. black is mutt’s brother, edge is red’s”

“I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF!”   
  


“Alright, second question, who the hell named you guys?”

“we did.”

You quirk an eyebrow. 

“So what’s your guys’ real names?”

Sans runs his hand down his face making a scraping sound of bone against bone. 

“it’s complicated, we’ll explain later.”

You huff and lean back onto Crooks’ ribcage, in response to that, he wraps his boney arms around your waist. 

“Alright, I’m done.”

“right,” Sans stands up, you are starting to think he may be the head of the household.

“we made some changes to the rules-”

“ONLY BECAUSE I MADE HIM!”

“sure paps,” he takes out his phone and taps idely, you assume he is pulling up the list of rules. 

“alright, 1, don’t go into the basement, there is a lot of heavy equipment down there and you may get hurt.”

“I can handle that, but don’t blame me if I get nosy.”

“2, you need to check in with us before you leave the house. preferably taking one of us with you.”

“See! Now that’s still kinda possessive, but it’s worded nicer. I can handle that.”

“3, no taking any friends or anyone else home with you without the approval of one of us.”

“Pssh, what friends.”

Blue looks wounded at that. 

“4, no dating outside of us, unless approved by us.”

“That I can deal with, thank you, but, one condition.”

“what.”

“The same rule applies to you all. Except, I highly doubt you would date your own family members cause that’s called incest and is highly frowned down upon, but honestly, some of you wouldn’t surprise me.”

Red chuckles. 

“n’ ewe say we’re possessive.”

You smile with something sinister behind your eyes. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t not admit it, I have a tendency to get extremely jealous, so I would suggest not bringing anyone home unless you want to get them killed.”

You wink at Red and he makes an audible gulping sound. 

You look back up at Sans. 

“Got any other rules?”

He shakes his head.

“Great, I’m going to head back with Axe and Dust, ‘night everyone, don’t let the sandworms bite!”

“YOU DON’T WANT TO STAY HERE?”

You shake your head.

“Naw Blue, y’all kinda broke my trust a couple times over, so imma stay with my bois for the time being.”

You pat Crooks on the arm to let you up. He releases you and you stand up, stretching your back, making it pop in the process, oblivious to the shivers that the skeletons get when you do. 

You walk to the stairs before turning around, realizing that everyone has their eye sockets on you. 

“See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”

You walk down the stairs and out of the house. 

You don’t want to go immediately back to the house, so you decide to stray off the path into the woods. 

You run your hand across tree bark as you walk. You try to make as little noise as possible. You don’t really want to alert any wild animals that you are here. 

“‘ey brat.”

You roll your eyes and turn to the offending voice.

_ Speaking of wild animals... _

“The hell you want Mutt.”

He chuckles. 

“ya know, you could be nicer to us. i wouldn’t feel the need to call you a brat.”

You sigh through your nose (seems like you’ve been doing that a lot lately). 

“No, you call me brat cause you have some superiority complex which has the urge for me to be bent down kissing your boots. No thanks, I don’t live for that kind of life.”

He chuckles again. 

_ Fuck. Stop it nerves.  _

You continue walking. 

“If you’re gonna keep watching me, do it with some dignity. I don’t really get turned on by stalkers ya know.”

You hear his footsteps follow after you. 

“whad you cut your hair for?”

You run a hand through said cropped hair. 

“It was getting in the way.”

“huh.”

You both walk in silence for a while before he speaks up. 

“how come you like the psychos more than us?”

You shrug. 

“I dunno, I guess I can relate to them more. Maybe I could relate to you guys if you actually talked to me. But I’ve talked to Blue and Papyrus, and it seems like you guys live pretty easy lives compared to the quote/unquote psychos.”

“oh darlin’, you have no idea where i come from.”

You turn your head to look at him. 

“So tell me.”

He tilts his head. 

“it ain’t a pretty story. but i think you can handle it.”

“Gee thanks.”

He smirks at you and pulls a milkbone and a lighter out of his pocket. 

He sticks the dog treat in his mouth and flicks his lighter to the end of it, making purple waves of smoke come out from the end of it. 

“it goes a little something like this: red, edge, m’lord and i all came from rough universes, universes where it was ‘kill or be killed’,” he punctuates that by curling his phalanges like quotes. 

“Universes?”

“it’s complicated.”

You grumble: “Third time today I’ve heard that.”

He lets out another raspy chuckle. 

You tap on the collar wrapped around his neck. 

“So what about this, a fashion statement for where you come from? Red has one too.”

He shakes his skull. 

“naw,” he flips the dog tag over so you can read it. 

Scratch across the gold surface are the words, “PROPERTY OF SANS.”

You raise and eyebrow at him. 

“I thought Black was your brother?”

“it’s complicated,” he takes another puff on his mock cigarette. 

“Fourth time I’ve heard that today.”

He chuckles and pats your head. 

“don’t worry brat, it’ll all make sense soon. just gotta wait for vanilla to give the ok.”

“What do you mean by that?”

You turn to face him only to realize that he’s already gone. 

You shrug and continue to walk.

* * *

  
  
  


You come across a clearing with a large oak tree, which is a little odd considering that it’s in a forest of redwoods. 

You walk up to the tree, take your heavy shoes off, and start to climb. It’s surprisingly easy considering you’re only in your bare feet.

You climb even higher. 

You somehow end up at the top of the tree and look down. Your shoes are missing. 

_ Great _ . 

“Hey, I know you’re down there, Axe, Dust, gimme back my shoes!”

You hear nothing. 

You sigh and roll your eyes. If that’s how they want to play, you might as well ignore them. Best not to give them what they want. 

You climb down the tree. It’s starting to get hard to see. Once again, you’re gonna be stuck in the woods in the dark. 

You’d think you’d learn your lesson by now. 

You make a 360 circle around the tree just to make sure your shoes are really gone before you start walking to the direction you assume the cabin is in. 

You don’t mind walking around barefoot. You have a lot of practice, but usually it's not in the forest for this long. 

You can feel blisters start to form on the underside of your feet. 

You have been walking for about 30 minutes in one direction, it’s fully dark out right now, the only light is coming through the cheshire moon shining through the canopy made by trees. 

You hear the snap of a branch behind you. 

You huff. 

“Alright Axe, or Dust, whoever it is, you can come out, I’m not scared.”

You have no idea why you say that, you know that they aren’t going to respond. 

You walk for a little while longer before you take a break and sit down on the dead leaf covered floor. You tie knots in the end of your (technically Axe’s) shirt. Eventually, you need to start walking again, it’s starting to get cold. 

Unfortunately, you left your phone, like the dumbass you are, in one of the shopping bags, which are back in the cabin. 

But, you also are aware that at least one of them is tailing you, so you’re sure you’ll be fine. 

You push down on your knees to help you up from the floor. You keep walking. 

It’s extremely quiet, it seems that it’s even too late for the crickets. It’s pretty damn creepy, you’ll admit that much. 

You hear a series of footsteps behind you.

“Ugh finally, man, I’m getting cold, you wanna go home?”

You turn around. No one is there. 

“A-axe?”

_ Shit, my voice cracked.  _

“Whatever dude! Don’t blame me if I end up dying of hypothermia!”

You hate to admit it, but you really don’t like the dark, although you have been building up an immunity for it, you are reaching your limit. 

You keep walking. 

You feel a puff of warm air on the back of your neck. You whip around, but once again, no one is there. 

“Jesus fuck you guys! Just stop playing with me!”

You hear a distinct chuckle amongst the backdrop of silence. 

“Ah, thank God, c’mon dude. I’m cold.”

No one says anything. 

You throw up your hands in annoyance. 

You take a step forward, only for an axe to fly out of nowhere and impale itself into the tree behind you. 

_ NOPE! _

You run. You know it’s stupid, and it’s probably just Axe (hence the axe), but damn, that thing was close to your head! 

Your breath comes out in labored pants. You definitely are not used to running so far, so fast. 

You can hear chuckling coming from behind you, which spurs your need to run even further. 

_ Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.  _

You run into a tree and fall down on your butt. 

_ Shit, that’s not a tree.  _

“AXE! What the hell dude! You coulda given me a heart attack.”

He says nothing and continues to stare down at you, his usually blown red eye has shrunken into a pinprick. 

_ Well that’s not good.  _

He raises a giant-ass axe above his head, it gleams in the moonlight. On instinct, you raise your hands above your head. 

“ONE HEAD DOG COMIN’ RIGHT UP!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so imma start updating every Sunday. This isn't a guaranty, cause some weeks it's kinda hard to get motivation, but I really do enjoy writing this story. 
> 
> The one thing I'm kinda concerned about is writing love-dovey stuff. I'm good at angst and gore, but hell, fluff makes me feel awkward. 
> 
> Anyways, if anyone has any ideas or anything they'd like to share, please comment! I love reading your guy's stuff.


	13. In Which, You Almost Get Beheaded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some domestic bliss with the skele-bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I know, I know. I'm sorry. I've had it rough these past couple of weeks. Ya know, with the election (hooray for Kamala!) and the combined fact that I nearly got sent to a hospital. But hey, I'm pretty much fine now. 
> 
> Uh, so, Unus Annus live countdown is happening right now, go check it out before they gone forever. 
> 
> I've also started a new fanfic (yes I know, another) which helps me write out all my dark thoughts, so this fanfic is good if you want dark fluff, it features the bad bois (red, dust, axe, killer, and nightmare), and is probably going to be a much faster burn than this if you like that kind of stuff. Anyways, happy reading!

Hear a whooshing sound next to your head, you wait for the warm spurt of blood to come from your neck and the pain to overcome your senses. 

Although, nothing happens. 

You hear psychotic laughter from above you. 

You peel open an eye to see both Dust and Axe standing above you laughing their heads off. 

You huff and cross your arms. 

“Gee thanks, I love being terrified and jumpscared.”

They continue laughing, completely ignoring you. 

You turn your head to the side to see the axe in question impaled into the ground, about an inch from where your head used to be. 

That would have definitely done some serious damage if it met its mark. 

You pry the axe out of the ground and stand up, waving it to get the two psychopath’s attention. 

“YO! You know how much damage that could’ve done? I’d be dead! I mean, you could probably get some good cash out of my ovaries if you sell ‘em on the black market, but other than that WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!”

In between spurts of laughter, Dust comments, “man, you shoulda seen your face! Fear looks good on you, bunny.”

You give a mild look of concern to the last sentence he spews from his mouth. Other than that, both of them are still laughing at you. 

“You know what, whatever dude,”you push past the both of them, “I’m going to go find Crooks, y’all can continue goofing off if you want, but just know, jump scares are cheap.”

You take a couple steps before you feel someone grab your forearm. 

“ah, c’mon bunny, don’t be like that.”

You huff. 

“I don’t like being jump scared.”

Axe snickers and you turn to glare at him. 

“You definitely are not getting any snuggles anytime soon.”

Dust laughs at Axe’s miffed face. 

“Right, which way is the cabin? Hate to admit it, but I kinda got a little turned around here.”

Both of them give you their trademark sinister grin. 

“don’t worry, we’ll take you.”

You feel the world around you flip upside down, and everywhere is suddenly dark. The only sensation you can feel is Dust’s hand gripping your arm. Just as it started, it stopped. The world righted itself again and the cabin popped into view. 

You feel a little dizzy, but thoroughly impressed. 

“HOLY SHIT,” Dust winces at your loudness since you are standing right next to him. “DID Y’ALL JUST TELEPORT!?”

Axe looks at you with confusion. 

“we’ve done this before?”

“Really!? When?”

“after the first discussion with vanilla and the crew of dipshits, you were pretty out of it though.”

You don’t remember that. 

You don’t remember a lot of things. And things that do happen that don’t want to be forgotten, you just repress.

_ Just like your parents.  _

_ SHUT  _ UP  _ DUDE! _

You shake your head to get rid of invading thoughts, which causes Dust and Axe to look at you curiously. 

You smile up at both of them and take Axe’s hand in your right, and Dust’s in your left and you walk down the pathway up to the cabin. 

* * *

  
  


Crooks is making dinner when the three of you step into the house. 

“Yo!”

He turns around with a happy smile formed on his crooked teeth. 

He swoops you up into a hug. 

“AH! TINY HUMAN, I AM SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO STAY WITH US!”

“Why wouldn’t I, compared to the others, you guys are sweethearts!”

Dust snorts at this. 

Crooks puts you down and leads you to the small table in the middle of the kitchen. 

“DINNER WILL BE READY IN 5 MINUTES!”

You smile and flash him a thumbs up.

You hear the creaking of seats as Axe and Dust both sit down next to you. 

“are you staying with us forever?”

You look at Axe curiously. 

“Qué?”

“you know what our reasons for keeping you around are, will you actually stay with us forever.”

You raise an eyebrow. 

“Uh, sure dude. I mean, like, it depends on oh this works out, after all, I’m only potential, I’m not the real deal. Besides, even if it does work out, you wouldn’t like humans when they get old. We get all wrinkly and grumpy.”

Dust and Axe both exchange looks and you pass it off as them imagining you while you’re old and grey. 

Out of nowhere, a plate is slammed down in front of your face. 

“DINNER IS READY!”

You observe the portion of spaghetti in front of you, nothing seems off by it. The meatballs look like regular meatballs and the sauce looks like regular marinara. You don’t  _ see  _ any glitter anywhere, so it should be safe for human consumption, right?

“I DECIDED TO SAVE SPECIAL SPAGHETTI FOR ANOTHER NIGHT, WHEN YOU ARE MORE ACCUSTOMED TO US.” He pats you on the head. “A TIME WHEN YOU ARE LESS LIKELY TO START SCREAMING.”

You give him an alarmed look. 

_ Why would I…  _

_ Oh right, his “special spaghetti”. _

You feel a hand on the back of your neck. 

“certainly wouldn’t want you going anywhere bunny, especially after we just got you back.” Dust gives your neck a warning squeeze. 

You think this was met to scare you, however, it does something a little different and you shift in your seat trying to get rid of the feeling. 

This does not go unnoticed by the cannibal and the murderer, considering both of their smiles grows by a considerable amount. 

“Heh heh, OK! This looks great!”

You attempt to hide the growing blush on your cheeks by stuffing your mouth full of pasta. 

It’s actually pretty damn good, and you tell him so. 

“Crooks, dude, you got talent!”

“WELL OF COURSE TINY HUMAN, AFTER SO MANY HUMANS FELL DOWN, I HAVE MANAGED TO PERFECT MY CULINARY SKILLS IN ORDER TO LURE HUMANS INTO MY TRAPS!”

He tilts his head back and lets out a broken “nyeh heh heh”. 

This concerns you a little bit, considering you are sitting at a table with three skeletons, all of which you assumed have killed humans before, and two of which used to eat them (they might still do?). You are starting to wonder why you came over. 

Crooks seems to notice your apprehension. 

“NOT TO WORRY HUMAN! WE WOULD NEVER HARM YOU! SURE, WE MAY THINK IT AT TIMES, BUT WE WOULD NEVER ACT UPON IT.”

That... doesn’t really make you feel better. 

_ Heh, I always have had a death wish.  _

“Right, ok, I think I’m finished for the night! Axe, do you want the rest of my plate?”

Crooks had given you a rather big portion of food and you were only able to eat half of it, you also knew how pissy Axe got in the hospital for other people wasting food, and you didn’t want to see what that axe could do when it was used properly. 

He nods and you hand him your plate. 

In one bite, he manages to finish what you were struggling to eat half of. 

He stands up from the table with the dishes and crosses over to the sink. 

“alright, pyxis, collect plates, i’ll wash.”

You raise an eyebrow at the command. 

“What’s the magic worrddd∼”

Axe turns and looks back at you with an unamused expression on his face and eyelight gone. 

“ **n o w.** ”

Welp, that totally did not give you shivers, nope, not at all. 

_ Fuck man, I’m literally going to die.  _

Doing as you're told, because, let’s face it, you are, and always will be a dirty, dirty bottom, you collect the remaining dishes from the table and take them to Axe. 

You don’t look at him for fear of ruining the shorts that you are currently occupying. 

You shuffle out of the kitchen in silence. 

Dust is on the couch and chuckles when you enter the family room. 

“well, looks like we finally got a way to shut you up, huh bunny?”

You shoot him a glare. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

He gives another chuckle. 

“careful there, now i know your weakness.”

You roll your eyes. 

“Don’t get so cocky, that was only a one time thing, I was startled, that’s all.”

_ Oh come on, you know you- _

_ SHUT THE FUCK UP. _

_ NONONONONONONONO YOU DO NOT NEED THIS. _

You shake your head trying to get rid of invading thoughts, cause damn, you really do not need this. 

You clasp your hands together. 

“Right, I’m going to get my clothes,” you pick up one of the shopping bags, “and I’m going to go get changed in the bathroom.”

You aboutface and nearly run out of the room and into the small bath/shower bathroom. 

You slam the door behind you and plant your hands on the vanity. You look up in the mirror to see your face extremely flushed. You look like you just ran a marathon. 

You run a hand down your face, finger catching in your bottom eyelids on the way down. 

“Fuck,” you breath quietly.

You turn and open your bag to pull out a pair of sweatpants, a baggy shirt, a sleep bra, and a pair of underwear. 

You were right, after going commando all day, your chest really hurts. 

You quickly get changed, after knowing that at least two of the skeletons can teleport, you really don’t want them getting an eyeful of you. 

_ Yet.  _

_ SHUT UP! _

You bang your head on your hand a couple times, then exit the bathroom. 

You see all three of the skeletons that inhabit the house are sitting on the couch. 

“HUMAN! COME JOIN US! AS A FUN SURPRISE, WE ARE DOING A TV NIGHT!”

You smile a little bit. This is so fricken domestic it almost hurts. 

“Sounds like fun.” You walk over to the couch and plop down next to Crooks, trying to put as much distance between you and Axe/Dust as you can. This does not go unnoticed by them and they exchange glances. 

You snuggle up to Crooks and he happily puts an arm around you. You note with amusement the smug look he shoots to Axe. 

“So, what we watchin’?”

“I Figured It Would Be Nice To Start A New Tradition Of Watching A New TV Show Together.”

Huh, you didn’t know that Crooks had an inside voice. 

“Cool, so what are we watching?”

“I DON’T KNOW! HOW ABOUT YOU CHOOSE!”

Oop, the loud voice is back again. 

“Uh, you down with scary stuff?”

“THAT IS ONE OF MY BROTHER’S FAVORITE GENRES!”

“Cool, how about American Horror Story.”

“AH! WE WILL GET TO LEARN ABOUT THE URBAN LEGENDS OF AMERICA!”

You look up at him and smirk. 

“Sure.”

He flips through the television and pulls it up.

He presses play and the first episode starts. 

Crooks pulls a blanket over the two of you and you snuggle even deeper into him. He’s kinda uncomfortable, cause, ya know, bones, but his pj’s kinda soften him up. 

* * *

  
  


“Fuck man, Evan Peters is so hot!”

It’s been about 3 episodes, and basically the entire time, you have been struggling not to laugh. Both at the tv show (you don’t want them to know that you are kinda a sadist) and at the glares that both Axe and Dust are sending Crooks’ way. 

If they wanted snuggles, they should have thought about that before they went and jump-scared you. 

“how. he’s a human and a school shooter.”

“Yea…. I know, but not in real life. You should see him play Quicksilver in X-men, actually, once for comic con, I cosplayed him. It was sick.”

“cosplayed?”

“It’s like adult dress-up, basically Halloween all year-round. Speaking of which, Halloween is coming up next week. We need to get decorations!” 

Crooks sighs dramatically. 

“WE ARE NOT GETTING A HORDE OF NAKED PLASTIC SKELETONS!”

You pout.

“Awww man, but we can finally find Dust a girlfriend!”

In response to that, Dust flips you off, and you stick out your tongue at him. 

“careful there bunny, someone may bite that tongue off.”

You quickly stick it back in your mouth. 

Crooks coughs awkwardly. 

“RIGHT. I’m Going To Bed. Goodnight Brother. Goodnight Dust,” Crooks picks you up. “Come Along Human.”

“Whoa whoa wait dude,” you think you’d be used to people picking you up by now. “Where are we going?”

“You Are Sleeping With Me Human, Mostly Because I Do Not Trust That Either Of Them Will Not Try Anything While You Are Sleeping.”

“hey bro, i think she can take the couch.”

Crooks scoffs. 

“AND SUBJECT HER TO YOUR CREEPY INSISTENT NEED TO WATCH THINGS WHILE THEY SLEEP? NO THANK YOU.”

You giggle. 

“Kinda sus if you ask me Axe.”

A hint of red can be seen spreading across his cheekbones. 

Crooks turns around and marches up the creaky stairs with you still in his arms. 

He takes you down a hallway with three doors, you assume they must be the bedrooms, and takes you to a door covered in caution tape. 

_ Cutie pie.  _

He somehow manages to hold you up with one arm with the other opening the door. 

_ Damn these skeletons must be strong.  _

He plops you on a bed and promptly tucks you in. 

“Are you sleeping with me or naw?”

He waves a hand. 

“I Will Sleep On The Floor Human, No Need To Worry About Me.”

“You sure? There’s plenty of room up here.”

“ABSOLUTELY SURE!”

You smile sleepily. 

“Thanks Crooks, you’re the best.”

The last thing you hear before you fall asleep are the quiet “nyeh-heh-hehs” of Crooks. 

* * *

  
  
  


Axe looks down on your sleeping form. 

Your now choppy hair is covering part of your face and your mouth is pursed in a tight line. 

Somehow in your sleep you have managed to become tangled up in the covers, body huddled around a pillow. 

Your chest moves up and down with each breath you take. Your eyes are squinted shut and your foot keeps twitching. 

Axe observes as a bright smile crosses over your face. You give a soft giggle in your sleep. 

He has an overwhelming urge to reach out and touch you. 

He extends a hand and brushes it along your exposed cheek bone. His phalanges drag across the soft flesh of your cheek. 

He feels as if he could stay here forever. 

Another small pop is heard in the room. 

“dust.”

He already knows that it’s him without having to turn around. 

Several footsteps are heard before Dust falls into Axe’s peripheral vision, 

“hey.” 

They both stand there in silence for a little bit. Watching you sleep. 

You open your eyes too fast for them to comprehend in order to teleport away. 

“Dust, Axe, what are you guys doing here?”

You sit up and stretch a little bit, you look around. 

“Hey, I know you’re there.” 

Both of the skeletons step out from the shadows of the room, careful not to disturb Crooks, who is sleeping soundly on the floor. 

“What time is it?”

You yawn, fighting to try and stay up. 

“go back to sleep bunny.”

You tiredly tilt your head. 

“Don’t you need sleep too?”

They don’t need to answer you, because as soon as those words left your mouth, you fell back in bed, snoring softly. 

Axe gives a genuine, soft smile. 

“fuck man, we’re growing soft.”

“...”

Axe doesn’t say anything. 

He is content just to watch you. 

Both of the skeletons stay like this until you wake up in the morning. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck man, I honestly feel kinda bad for reader, I basically put all my problems on them. Oops. Oh well. 
> 
> Anyways. 
> 
> I fuckin love comments, some of the shit y'all say is fuckin fantastic. So please, comment your little hearts out.


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